La ballata della Luna
by Nigihayami Haruko
Summary: AU Some love lasts longer than a lifetime where you carry them in your heart waiting for the moment that it blossoms. A musical and supernatural tale through two lifetimes.
1. Prologue: Sayonara

La ballata della Luna (Ballad of the Moon)

Prologue: Sayonara

[Disclaimer: Neither the characters nor Rurouni Kenshin belong to me. I'm merely sharing my words with you.]

For as long as I could recall, I loved him. It's hard not to love someone like him, yet it's even harder harboring these deep seated affections. Like the veins on a leaf, the more you love, the stronger the emotions, the further you feel yourself drifting along the spine of the leaf. Further and further you take flight from who you are, ending up in an entirely new destination with an entirely different persona.

It was with this thought that I reached the crossroad.

The wind blew rapidly through the empty street as I clutched my coat closer to my wiry frame. The tears long evaporated from my cheeks, all I could really feel was the emptiness gnawing away at my chest.

Ignoring the screaming red light from the pedestrian crossing, I resolutely moved onward. It wasn't as if anyone would be there to stop me, neither would it be possible that someone would be roaming the streets at three in the morning. Only the drunks and the broken hearted. At that moment, it really seemed that I could fit in both categories. A broken hearted drunkard. How annoyingly poetic.

Walking towards the crimson light, I could not help but be reminded of his hair. How soft it felt as I threaded my fingers through it, how it smelled when I buried my nose in his tresses, and how I wanted to hold it forever. I sighed as I reached the pavement, feeling the hard cement beneath my scruffy sneakers. Nothing I have ever wanted was ever mine. Nothing.

"Why so sad a face, signora?"

Startled, I turned towards the direction of the voice.

'When did he arrive? I swear I didn't notice him when I crossed the road...'

"I..."

How was I to answer him anyway?

"Broken hearted? Drunk?"

Dumbly, I nodded at his astute observation.

* * *

_ "Kaoru-chan? Are you alright?" Warm fingers wrapped themselves around my wrist as his concerned amethyst eyes conveyed his worry._

_ Slowly steadying myself I righted my posture in an effort to assure him of my well being although I was fully aware that I was not fine. In fact, I was hurt and broken. But Kenshin could not see that, he could only see me, Kaoru-chan, smiling up at him, smacking his helping hands away in playful innocence. _

_ 'No Kenshin, I'm not fine, but you'll never see it.'_

* * *

"Want to listen to a song?"

I nodded. How else was I supposed to react to such a question anyway?

"Goodbye, my beloved precious person

Spilled tears turned into snow..."

The guitar chords spilled over me, like a stream finding its way to the river, merging with the rushing current. The simple words wove themselves into the melody as comprehension bloomed within myself. Only he could understand me, and only I could understand him.

"Goodbye, myself who was crying yesterday

Quietly close your eyes..."

* * *

_ "Truth or dare?"_

_ We sat in a circle as an empty bottle of coke lay innocently on the floor, unaware of the mischief it was creating. Tilted in Kenshin's direction, the blushing red head contemplated the question that would determine the level of embarrassment that would be unleashed on him. Seeing his confused gaze, I merely nodded in encouragement, brushing aside the strange sense of pride that he would turn to me of all people in his moment of weakness. See? I wanted to say. Kenshin turned to me, not you, but me._

_ "Ano..." he scratched his head, a habit signaling the extreme discomfort he was experiencing. "Truth?"_

_ Everyone groaned knowing that it was the chicken way out of having to undergo the horrendously excruciating punishment they were about to release on any unsuspecting victim who had the guts to say 'dare'._

_ "Alright boys, it's his choice." Sanosuke spoke up, hushing the disappointed crowd, as well as completely ignoring the fact that the level of estrogen in the crowd would easily outdo the putrid level of testosterone amongst the fellow players. _

_ "So... what do you feel for little Missy over there?"_

_ With a gasp, I turned my head away from Kenshin's shy demeanor and glared at Sanosuke's impish grin. With a wink, he mouthed the words 'I got it covered' to me. At his victory sign, I could not help but groan into my hands. After confessing my true feelings to Sano, I have been doing nothing but regretting because he has appointed himself my personal 'cupid' and would 'stop at nothing to get you and Kenshin together making babies'. If I could only get my hands on that no good, free-loading, pig headed, insensitive-_

_ "**Tomodachi**." _

_ Slowly, like one of those suspense movies, I stopped my internal tirade at Sano and turned to look at Kenshin's smiling face._

_ "Kaoru-chan is my **tomodachi**. In fact, she's my best friend."_

* * *

"...You casually brushed me aside

And leaned against the window

Acting a little bit shy

I was laughing..."

He kept on singing, the song that had no name, the man that I did not know. The song so closely resembled all that I have known that I could not help sitting next to him, staring at the one man who knew me more than my best friend did. Then, I did not marvel at the fact that he was wearing sun glasses at night, neither did I wonder at the strange color of his hair, all I knew was that there was someone out there with a whole lot of sensitivity and a great deal of understanding.

"...I lightly kissed your cheek

and always watched..."

He continued strumming the guitar while I hummed along, learning the melody as he sang. He seemed like a rock star, someone who would wow thousands and thousands of girls all over the world with his drop dead looks and rich tenor. Yet here he was, in a virtually deserted road, singing to a half drunk, love lorn girl. He could have been anywhere else, with anyone else, but I was just glad that he chose to be right here right now.

"...as you walked away."

The song has not ended I know, but I was tired and I guessed so was he.

"Thank you for sharing your music with me, it made me feel better."

I cocked my head to one side, regarding him from a slightly different angle. I wish I could see him, straight into his eyes and through his soul, but I knew that everyone had their own secrets, as did I. What made him choose that song? Did I awaken memories he wished to leave buried? Was it an old lover? A half gone memory?

"Ahh." He stood up, slinging the guitar on his back as he turned to me with his arm outstretched.

It was only then that I realized he was wearing a jacket despite the hot humid summer mornings. Still, I accepted his hand, not quite wanting to reject his offer. Not that I could reject anything from him after that superb heart aching performance.

"What song was that? Did you write it?"

He nodded, looking into the horizon into the darkness; the stars dotting the velvet sky being the only light save for the street lamp that was flickering intermittently. I held my breath, wondering what thoughts my questions churned and whether my question would receive an appropriate answer. Yet at that moment, in the comfortable stillness, I wished that he would hold fast to my words, pondering them and stretching this second to eternity. Because in that short moment, I felt comforted and understood, and in that tranquility, I found a soul mate who could translate my silence into recognition of equals.

"Sayonara."

I jerked my head up to him, gazing into his unshaded orbs as I took in the sight of his sharp and vulnerable eyes. Since when did he remove his sunglasses? Yet as stunned as I was, held in captivity by his gaze, I could not help but remember the word he uttered. Did he mean to send me on my way?

He must have read the anxiety in my eyes for he merely took my hand into his as he explained.

"Sayonara. That's the name of the song."

Smiling for the first time that night I could not help but ask.

"Can we walk a little while? It's a little early to get home."

He simply squeezed my hand, tugging me forward as he walked.

"Kaoru. I am Kamiya Kaoru."

"Enishi." was all he revealed. And that, to me, was enough.

_Goodbye, my beloved precious person_

_Spilled tears turned into snow_

_Goodbye, myself who was crying yesterday_

_Quietly close your eyes_

**_Tsuzuku_**

* * *

__

_Tomodachi__: Friend_

A/N: What? This is not the end? Nope. I don't intend to make this a OneShot. Surprised? Disappointed? I hope not. Please let me know what you think about it!

Haruko


	2. Chapter I: Hoshi no Suna

Chapter I : Hoshi no Suna

The sunlight filtered through my closed shades, finding the little cracks between the blinds, small yet large enough to allow them access into my dark room. Strange that the room would be bathed in a luminescent glow yet it still remained so cold - Cold enough to awaken me and cold enough to splash me with a stark sense of reality.

_ "Sing to me...?"_

Voices, they filled my mind as I pushed the stifling blankets off me. Like chains, they wove their encumbering limbs around mine, encasing me in their soft embrace, choking me with their gentleness. With that thought, I jerked myself up, stumbling out of bed.

_"Anything, to make your tears run dry."_

What happened last night? Why did I have a torrent of memories rushing through my mind? Resembling broken fragments, they were jarring, disorientating me. Tightening my fist in an attempt to recall the happenings of the night before, I felt a strange new material in my hand. Paper. When had that been given to me?

_"Go there. I'll be there until the end of the month."_

Smoothening the crumpled paper, I stared at the plain words that adorned the stark white sheet. Should I...?

"31 Brighton Lane... where is that?"

_"When you need me... don't forget, until the end of the month."_

The ringing of the alarm clock was the only thing that woke me out of my reverie. Time for school! Hardly sparing the address a second glance, I stuffed it into the pocket of my worn jeans, not having removed it since the night before, grabbed my bag and ran out.

* * *

A flash of red.

It was him.

Despite knowing that he only took me to be a friend, I could not help the little skip my heart made, or the twinge in my stomach as he neared me with his easy smile. Most of all, I could not help it when my feet started pacing in only direction I knew - towards him, always towards Kenshin.

"Kenshin. How have you been?"

Smiling gaily, I raised my right hand in a small wave which was the everyday ritual that we had. I would wave, he would grin with the usual 'fine thank you. And you, Kaoru-chan? What's new?' and then we'd turn in the direction of class to begin a new day. Normally I'd start blabbering about the events of the day before after we've parted, but this time, I remained silent. Do I really wish I share with him my new friend? Is there the necessity to tell him _everything_?

'Of course!... but...'

It was the tugging at my elbow that made me stop and turn to my best friend next to me quizzically.

"Huh?"

Kenshin sighed exasperatedly shaking his head as his eyes twinkled teasingly.

"I asked you whether you're alright. You were spacing out and I was wondering what's wrong."

Raising both hands in a wave to show him that I was fine, I laughed as I shook my head. Kenshin always picked up on the little nuances of mine. Like a mimosa that closes at the slightest touch, he knew just when something was wrong with me just by being with me. It was endearing yet frustrating at the same time because I knew that no matter how close he stood to me, how tender he held my arm, when the bell rang and the day ended, he would not be there anymore.

**_"...I lightly kissed your cheek_**

**_and_****_ always watched_**

**_as_****_ you walked away..."_******

The words returned to me as I suddenly saw Enishi before me. Strumming his guitar as he cradled it like a lover would. _He_ understood me. _He_ would be there at the end of the day... right?

"Missy!" The shout was followed by a hard thump on my back.

"Sano!!" I protested. It hurt. Sano never knew what kind of strength he had, or perhaps he did and simply did that to shake me out of the stupor I seem to keep finding myself in.

"Maa maa, Kaoru-chan, it's time to go to class anyway."

Kenshin's reassuring smile slid on easily as he guided me to the classroom where lessons were to begin for us. Another new day, another new adventure. Shaking my head from the foreign thoughts that were threatening to distract me, I linked my arms with Sano's and Kenshin's and got ready to face a new morning.

* * *

"And the protons then..."

I hated chemistry. Who needed it to survive anyway? It's not as if I'm growing up to be a chemist or a chemical engineer. A doctor? Ha. Like anyone would allow me near their body with some funny gadgets.

Lazily doodling on the notepad in front of me, I hardly noticed when the piece of paper plane came crashing to a halt on my table.

"Sayonara, I think I'll die from this stupid talk of protons. Sano."

Giggling, I turned to his direction diagonally across me as I spied him lying on his table, his arms sprawled out, tongue sticking out and his face twisted in the most grotesque expression ever. _Baka__ Sano, he's just trying to make me feel better after what Kenshin did._

I knew what he was doing, and for that, I was all the more grateful. It's been two days, but though I've yet to get over it, I no longer blame my strange yet gentle friend. Sano, that's who Roald Dahl had in mind when he created the BFG, I'm sure. Though seemingly gangly and insensitive, sometimes shocking people with his blunt statement, Sanosuke never fails to surprise me sometimes.

Cracking an eyelid at me, Sano sent a wink my way before he picked himself up and peered at the thick, imposing chemistry book before him. Grinning, I stuck my tongue out at him. _Baka__ Sano._ I affectionately shook my head and looked back at the board.

"Sayonara..." I could not help but whisper at the word Sano wrote, the same one that brought my mind back to the song. In his strange twisted way, Sano was trying to say what Enishi did the night before...

**_"...Goodbye, myself who was crying yesterday_**

**_Quietly close your eyes..."_******

... to learn to let go.

_ Maybe that's the lesson for today._

"Miss. Kamiya, can you please answer question two for us?"

Smiling brightly at my new revelation, I scanned the book for the question and grinned at the answer that I wrote the day before.

_ Maybe I already knew it._

"The answer is 'B'."

_ Maybe I just needed to follow through with it._

* * *

Another day, another set of challenges faced, another time to turn my back and trek home. Nowhere else to go but home.

"Kaoru-chan."

"Ke-kenshin?"

I could not hide the disbelief that crept into my voice at his disarming grin and his relaxed posture.

"I.. I thought you were busy with soccer, what with the competitions coming round and all."

Stuttering like a blushing teenage girl in front of her high school crush, which incidentally, was the truth, I hid my discomfort by re-adjusting the straps of my schoolbag to busy myself while he answered.

"I am. I just wanted to ask you whether you're fine. You didn't seem at all that happy this morning."

My eyes softened at his confession. The poor boy who would never know, forever hidden in the shroud of mist that I left him in. Resting my hand on his shoulder, I gave it a gentle shove in the direction of the soccer field.

"Go."

His startled gaze bore into my insistent one.

"I'm fine, I'm always fine, so don't worry, ne?"

Nodding his head despite his wary glance, he waved as he jogged back to the field.

Shoving my hands into my jean pockets I could not stop the overwhelming feeling of despair washed over me. I could see Kenshin's figure shrinking in the horizon, as it always did. And though knowing that he could never be mine, I always looked towards that self same horizon hoping for some sort of miracle.

_"Goodbye, my beloved precious person..."_

Digging my nails into the coarse fabric, I was surprised to feel a strange unfamiliar object in my pocket. Yesterday crashed like a tidal wave at the address that was scribbled on it.

... Maybe there was somewhere to go after all.

* * *

"You're here." Enishi simply stated as he continued strumming on his guitar. Looking so at ease, it only served to heighten my sense of awareness of the vast amount of space between us at that moment.

The room wasn't that lavishly decorated. In fact, everything seemed so Spartan that the vast sense of space sent my mind reeling. High-ceilinged, it made for a natural set for Enishi to perform. Not an echo out of place, the music flowed effortlessly through his instrument and right into my soul. Seated comfortably on the couch, the only piece of furniture in the white-washed room, he breathed life into the deadened clinical room.

"Ah... What are you playing?" I could not help but ask as I plopped myself rather ungracefully on the floor at his feet. Seeing him in this new angle, I took in the slight tan of his bronze skin, wondering when he had the opportunity to get some sunlight as well as noticing the strange marks that marred his otherwise perfect arm. Not wanting to intrude upon his privacy though he did invite me, I turned to observe his fingers caressing the strings of the guitar as he created such beautiful music.

"Nothing much, just trying to come up with something new." His reply was as nonchalant as his unobtrusive flippant manner. Not wanting to make me uncomfortable, he flashed me an easy grin as he turned back to playing.

"Can..." I started, not quite knowing what I wanted to say, yet needing to ask him anyway. "Is... is it alright if I just stayed here and listen?"

Seeing his raised eyebrow I rushed on not wanting to hear his objection, not for that moment. I've been rejected far enough to last my entire life.

"Enishi, I promise I won't get in your way. I'll just sit here, I won't even talk or move if you don't want me to!"

His chuckle was the loveliest thing I've ever heard that day. It was rich and warm, yet solitary and aloof at the same time. How he managed to be such a puzzle wrapped into a person still amazes me.

"You can stay here as long as you want." Bringing his finger to my cheek, he brushed it over my skin in the lightest caress. "You're always welcomed."

Sighing contentedly, I wondered at the coolness of his touch. Yet I simply leaned back on my haunch as his hand was brought back to the guitar and he started strumming to an entirely new chord. Music and words flowed out of him as he left his gaze somewhere before my feet, in a land where only melodies and beauty existed.

_"It all becomes completely quiet... from the enwrapped sky and the sun that scorches the body, you are vanishing_

_ What do you wander, searching for? As for myself, all alone..."_

Listening to Enishi, basking in his music, the magic he wove around me, protecting me from the realities of the world outside 31 Brighton Lane, I could not help but feel as though some part of me has finally been completed.

**_Tsuzuku_****__**

A/N: To let everyone know, (especially **cincygurl22**) the lyrics are not mine. They belong to the brilliantly talented **Gackt**. The lyrics from the previous chapter are from his song, _Sayonara_ and the new ones in this chapter is from _Hoshi no Suna_, hence the chapter titles. Easy to remember, ne? Well, this chapter is more of a character/plot development and the next chapter should be speeding things up a little more, hopefully. I've already got everything planned out, so do expect an _actual ending_ to this story. Yea!!!

A big thank you to: **Jeri**, '**Nishi-kun** and **Tsuki****-san**. You guys have been supporting me in all my stories and lavished me with so much encouraging praise that I must say I'm getting very spoilt from all the attention. Really, thank you a thousand times over!

To my lovely reviewers who makes my day: [] – Yes, I do want to make Kenshin jealous, but due to the _supernatural _circumstance, I wonder how that would happen… still, look out for it, who knows what would happen??? ; **MaryDFair** – The supernatural elements would be coming in later on, somewhere in… chapter 4-5 or something like that. I'm rather big on plot development right now, so taking things a little slow right now would be the order of the day, please bear with me, I'll try my best to make it worth your while. **PeRsOn**– Personally, I'm an EK fan, but in this case, it's definitely a KK. Right now, things are still a little hazy due to the ominous **_plot development_** but if you're patient, I'll make the pairings clearer as the chapters develop on! Have faith in Haru-chan! **BelleDayNight** – It's so lovely hearing from you again! I thought that my other fics killed your interest in my stories or something. sheepish grin Like I said, it'll be a KK, so have faith and a great deal of patience because I foresee a long journey ahead. Not something extremely long, but about 8-10 chapters? ß if you're lucky and I can keep my word that is. –hangs head in shame- **Donna8157 - **Ack! It's so lovely to hear from you again!!! I'm sorry to say that it's only in the beginning that there would be an EK. Yep, for once I'm having a multi-chaptered story that is KK. –gasp in shock- I've surprised myself too. I've always thought that writing a looong story that explores KK would be virtually impossible for me, but well… -shrugs- I somehow made it here! I hope you support this decision nonetheless and stay on for the ride! **The evil witch** – Well, I hope you're not that evil when you submit _another_ review! nudgenudge okok, I'm just kidding. Thanks for your encouraging words, God knows I need it when I hit a writer's block! **Ryuujin**** Dragon King** – Such a long nick! Took me long enough to type it! I know lots of people don't like Enishi, or perhaps they don't appreciate him? But whatever it is, Enishi's sorely understated half the time, the poor psychotic guy –grinz- But this is KK so it should satiate your appetite for KK! Thanks!

And before I forget, the plot is somewhat taken from a manga I read sometime ago. I can't quite remember the title, but the plot is vaguely there. If anyone knows what the title is, please let me know so I can give due credit!

Haruko


	3. Chapter II: My Love For You

Chapter II: My Love For You

"I can only remember the you who disappeared... My unchanging feelings towards you... Deeply, deeply, even now, Yes... I love you..."__

As the strains of the piano faded away, I stared unflinchingly at Enishi's unguarded eyes. For the first time I saw the flash of pain and sorrow that he sought to hide under his shades at our eventful meeting at the road. Blanketed under a facade of seemingly uncaring aloofness, his pain must have been more real than mine. Having to put it to music, allowing it to flow through his soul to his fingers and vocalizing something so intangible and fleeting... he must relive the anguish all over again. But why? Why subject himself to the hurt day after day, song after song?

"Because it's the only way I know how."

Jerking back to reality with his words, my eyes dropped to his clenched fist on the piano keys. Had I said that out loud...?

"Because I know that no matter how I try to hide it, nothing ever changes the fact that it's there."

_"Even if you despise yourself, the pain will not vanish..._"

Tentatively yet hesitantly, I leaned my head on his broadened shoulder as we sat in contemplative silence on the piano bench. He, reminiscing the past memories that were dredged up and I, with a flash of red in mind. I brought both hands up to hug his right arm, it only felt right. After two weeks of meeting him and being with him, I finally felt comfortable enough to give in to my initial impulse of soothing his hurt. I knew that a hug would never be enough to make up for the pain that he's had to live with, but it really seems to be all that I can offer him now.

"_Daijoubu_. Your music reminds me that even in pain, in all the heartache that you've experienced, there is still something in you that is beautiful and unmarred. Your music, your heart, it still retains its dignity and beauty in face of what you've gone through. Isn't that enough?"

He sighed, leaning his head against mine as he relaxed against my semi embrace.

"Only you, _Koishii_, only you can say such things which coming from anyone else would sound like words of platitude, but from you..." His head shifted as he placed his chin on my hair in a playful yet endearing gesture. "...it's all the words I'll ever need."

Stunned, I simply buried myself deeper in his half hug. I didn't expect the affectation nor him breeching his private space for me. _But do you really mind?_ Smiling as I breathed in his scent, I knew the answer.

* * *

"I keep singing the song you taught me, smiling in the dawn..."

"Wow, Missy, you seem to be in a good mood... unlike some of us." Sano muttered the last bit, burying himself back into his 'Statistics: For Management and Economics'. "We're having a Stat. test today, can you at least _act_ stressed for my benefit?"

At Sano's words I gasped.

"Statistics test?? Today?? Are you sure? Are you certain? Positive?? Oh crap oh crap oh crap I for-"

"-got that it's today? Or that we even _have _a test, Kaoru-chan?"

Kenshin interjected, amused at my ranting. He frowned seeing my anxious gaze as I grabbed Sano's text from under his nose and thumbed through the book like the desperate last minute student that I was. Barely noticing Kenshin leaving the table, I continued my eleventh hour attempt to cram in as much formulas as possible. I was doomed I knew, but if I at least got a decent failing score, I could at least get a lighter sentence from my cruel and strict Statistics teacher.

"And to think she was singing a second ago. Women!" Sano snorted as he scooted closer to me, reading over my shoulder. Despite his grumblings, he still allowed me to continue my rampage through his book for the crucial information that I needed, so I did not snap back as I normally would have, though I could not help smacking him lightly and distractedly for his quip.

"Here." A sheet of paper was shoved in front of me.

"Eh?"

I stared up at Kenshin's concerned look.

"Here are all my notes. It's more concise and easy to read than the text considering you only have 20 more minutes to study before the test begins."

Mouth gaping like a fish, I simply accepted his notes with a nod and a smile. Kenshin always knew how to save me it seems. Pushing the thick text back to Sano, I scanned the papers with Kenshin reading over my shoulder in case I encountered any problems.

"Kenshin, it's not fair! You don't even lend _me_ your notes but when Missy has a problem you just hand 'em over!" Whining, Sano opened his text once more.

"Demo Sano, Kaoru-chan really forgot the test, you, on the other hand, just don't bother with it to even study the night before."

"You're just biased cos she's a pretty girl and all."

Sano really could not allow anyone else have the last say on any arguments, even if it was at the expense of his studying time.

"You know Kenshin..." He continued.

"Sano, shut up." I finally took my eyes off Kenshin's neat and precise work to glare at my hulking friend next to me. "'Cos if you don't..."

"I know, I know..." Sano quickly intercepted my threat before I really blew my top. "... but it's still unfair!"

"Sano..." Both Kenshin and I growled.

"Alright! Alright already!" __

Tranquility resumed as I quickly memorized the formulas with Kenshin stood over my shoulder, so close that I could feel the warmth radiating off him. His scent, the woodsy smell that I memorized over and over again, enveloped me quietly as it calmed yet heightened my nerves altogether. Hardly noticing my pause, Sano simply returned to his cramming, momentarily so engrossed that he missed the effects Kenshin's nearness was having on me.

_Kenshin__... _was he still the boy I loved? And am I still the same girl who loved him? Staring at the figures and numbers swimming in front of me, I suddenly felt lost and confused. What did all this mean?

_ "It all becomes completely quiet... _

_ from the enwrapped sky and the sun _

_ that scorches the body, you are vanishing..."_

Looking up at the keychain, a gift from Kenshin, hanging on my pencil case, I contemplated the word engraved on it. _Adesso__.___

_ "It's Italian for 'now'. We live in this moment, Kaoru-chan, so it's the only thing we can really cherish and create."_

He is right. I resolutely brushed aside my questions for another time. Because even if I didn't know what the future held, I at least have now. And now, now I have Kenshin by my side and Enishi with me. So _adesso_. I'll live for now. Turning behind to tug at Kenshin's coat sleeve, I waited for his gaze to fall on me before mouthing 'thank you' and resuming my studying. His hand on my shoulder was the only reaction I received while Sano, unhappy to be left out of the conversation, simply snorted.

"In case you've forgotten, I'm still here, studying this _thick_ and _useless_ textbook just because someone won't lend-"

"Sano, shut up."

* * *

"'Nishi?" I wiggled my toes that stuck out from the soft cushions of the sofa. The house, despite its Spartan furnishing, really exuded a sense of _couture_. This couch itself seems to cost a bomb, though it was the only furniture in the room.

"Hmm?" He murmured into my hair distractedly as I sat next to him with his guitar in tow. Enishi was such a dedicated musician that he always heightened my level of respect for him and his music each time I met him. Always with his beloved guitar _Plum_ or sitting at the piano bench, Enishi was never far from his passion and that just makes me admire him all the more.

"What's your favorite song, among all the songs that you've written?"

Nonchalantly fingering his guitar, he allowed me to lean my head on his shoulder as he deliberated. As he was quietly mulling over my question, I could not help but stare at the defining angry marks that scarred Enishi's arms. Not quite scratches, they were little dots that seemed even more prominent against his tanned skin, strangely enough. Instead of being hidden under the darker shade, they stood out all the more as the skin stretched across his taut forearm muscles. Feeling comfortable with him, yet not close enough, I dared not ask the question that lay on the tip of my tongue. However, it seemed that I did no need to, for it was not hard for Enishi to follow my eye line to my new area of interest.

"_Koishii__..._" He breathed.

"Enishi..." 'Ask him already!'

"No." He shook his pale locks, which made him seem like he was perpetually standing under a snowing skyline. "Please don't."

Nodding my head, albeit a little instantiated, I still acquiesced to his single request.

"Ahh." I promised.

"But there's something I can answer you."

"What?" I tilted my head to one side; regarding him with a childishly innocent expression that must have been the cause for his chuckle which I so loved. With Enishi, I feel that I could be myself. That there was something or _someone_ inside of me that called out to him and was complete with his close presence. I felt safe, comfortable, and altogether _loved_. Something I have been wishing for so long and finally have been granted.

"My favorite song is _Hoshi no Suna._"

"Why?"

"Because it means _stardust_..." Bending his head down to peer straight into my eyes, he neared me until we were so close it seemed we were breathing in the same air. "... and do you know what stardust can do?"

Mesmerized by his gaze, I vaguely felt myself shaking my head in response.

"When sprinkled on your eyes," he whispered, so softly that his breath tickled my lips that were slightly parted. _What were these feelings that rushed through my veins, thumping through my body? _"They cause you to be light headed, **_intoxicated_**..."

Inching his face closer and closer to my own, his eyes seemed aglow with something I could neither identify nor explain. Something deadly and powerful at the same time, something that made me afraid yet eager to taste what it could be.

"... and then, they make you fall in love."

Like a wave crashing to sea, finding that momentum, that single rhythm that makes the entire water body act as one, I felt that little click, that voice which spoke me '_this is it, this is it_'. Enishi pulled me closer as I clung onto him, bending and meshing myself into the form that felt so wrong yet right at the same time. Now, later, a second, a century, time rushed pass me like a bullet train with too much oil on the tracks, and I in there, clinging onto any handle feeling myself spiraling out of control

_ Vanilla and ecstasy. _

It tasted entirely of vanilla and ecstasy.

**_Tsuzuku_**

* * *

A/N: I think I overdid it a little on this chapter, what do you think? What I wanted to portray in this chapter was mainly the growing closeness between Enishi and Kaoru, not forgetting to have a little interlude (comic relief anyone?) to show that Kaoru still retains some feelings for Kenshin that is completely different from what Kaoru feels for our white-haired friend.

Yes, the supernatural bit is so small it's almost insignificant, but it's building up, it's building up! A little patience is what I'm asking of you. The next chapter _should_ be before the watershed chapter. So it's also a little 'bridge' chapter, but it's important. Something is going to be revealed so do watch out for that! Goodness, I feel like J.K.Rowling telling you to read up on the second book for more clues… --;; Gomen.

To my beloved reviewers without whom I would not survive or continue writing:

**Firuze**: The one reviewer who I leave my sanity and work entirely in the hands of. I hope that this KK won't turn too strange. I trust you to steer me in the right direction, as always. This chapter seems more EK than KK, to which you can imagine how delighted I am with it! Maybe when I'm done, I'll do another story that veers from this chapter, turning into an EK. I'd be interested to see where _that_ goes! I do believe that you're on the right track with the supernatural bit, drop me an email to see what you're thinking of. Who knows, you could have a better idea than me! (to which, can I borrow it???)

**Jade Catseye**: It's been awhile since I've heard from you! How're ya?? I hope that this update is soon enough for you! This story has been in my head for so long that I can't help but write it all down before my muse sputters and dies out on me.

**Donna8157:** Can I enquire what the numbers are significant of? You're born in 1981 on the 5th of July or the 7th of May? Lol I'm too curious for my own good. I have an obsession with showing and not telling, hence the multiple gestures. It's rather important and a great encouragement that you saw right through what I'm trying to do. Thank you! And yes, a KK from me! I needed someone to do something that only Enishi is capable of, and unfortunately, he doesn't quite end up with my heroine. Tragic but true. Do let me know what you think of it though!

**BelleDayNight**: I hate grad school too! Not cos I've entered it, but cos it's taking you away from the ffnet community! Thanks for having me on your alert though, it's such an honour! Thank you thank you thank you! The rating is mostly cos I'm too lazy to 'up' it, but since you've mentioned it, with the little 'romance' bit, I suppose I should raise it huh. AK? Hmm, I'll keep that in mind for my next fic, sounds real interesting! Thanks for the idea!

**Kenshin's****-angel**: Nope, didn't do the song, but I love it. _Hoshi no Suna_ is actually the 'theme song' of this fic, so I'd really recommend getting it if you like the fic. Maybe I should make it a general announcement in the next chapter. But anyway, hope you like this chapter cos I tried to make a 'sweet' Kenshin moment. Let me know what you think of it!

**MaryDFair**: Well, like I told Firuze, I might decide to branch out from here and write another fic with a different ending, a EK ending. But this plot is just too stuck in me right now to change, so I'll have to see after I'm done with it. Glad you like my fics, I have a reader who returns to my fic, Oh my God! It's such a wonderful wonderful honour. Thank you so much!

**Crescent Star**: Updating, updating! Let me know what you think of this. I'm glad you've enjoyed my little bit of imagination so far, but let me know if I'm in the right direction k, I depend on you guys to help me along!

**The evil witch**: Hmm, wonder what you've done to be deemed evil. The story is still underdeveloped in my mind, so I'll probably need a few more chapters to expand, I'm just glad you're not bored of it yet! That would be the worst thing to happen!

**Lendra-chan**: Definitely a KK fan too. I love EK, but sometimes an occasional KK makes my day too. I love odd pairings as well, but suffice to say, I'm a huge Romance fan. I do believe that put in different situations with the right kind of circumstance, any two people can be put together. That's why I love to read SaitouXMisao and AoshiXKaoru too!

Haruko


	4. Author's Note & Outtakes!

It seems that there has come a time where I should explain a little bit about the story and my interest as well as my direction for it. A reviewer left a note telling me what he/she thought about the story and especially the choice of pairing. Thus as the author, I feel that I should at least attempt to defend my story and my own artistic rights.

The Review:

kaoru?!you're fucking kidding me why the HELL is that BITCH getting kenshin AND enishi around her fat bloated little finger?!?!?!?! she's the WEAKEST and the WHINIEST LITTLE BITCH ever! you're one of those ppl who watched rk on cn and got the manga translations aren't you? then you thought how much YOU want to be that fat ugly COW who's like the most PERFECT little lady in your sick dieseased mind so you wrote this THING to satisfy your sick little fantasy! GUESS WHAT! KAORU IS A UGLY CRYBABY WHO TRIED TO STEAL KENSHIN FROM TOMOE! and you know what she didn't even come CLOSE but you still jerk off thinking you're kaoru fucking kenshin or enishi. WTF is WRONG with you??kenshin and enishi will KILL her together than hang out with her! oh please, everything you based your little story on is COMPLETELY false and just PROOVES you didn't read the manga. fyi, enishi HATES kenshin and that useless lump of meat and he wants to kikll them all NOT hang around a little smelly retard an dkenshin's STILL mourning tomoe and he's only with kaoru bc he feels sorry for her ugly ass SO he's killing time BEFORE he can go rejoin tomoe in heaven! and what do you DO?! you make it so it fits your crazy version where EVERYONE falls in love with that cow! YEAH RIGHT! i HATE n00bs like you PRETENDING to know it all! and if they're in modern schools WHERE is the ohter characters?i know why you didn't even SHOW misao, megumi, TOMOE - remember her, kenshin's WIFE?! - it's bc you KNOW kaoru will be EXPOSED as the piece of SHIT she is if you put the other girls next to her! did yoiu even SEE samurai x?! tomoe's supposed to be kenshin's GIRLFRIEND and kenshin and enishi should be fighting over HER nobody CARES about that ugly bitch kaoru!stop lying to yourself and STOP WRITING. you're fic sucks kaoru sucks and your a RETARD for writing things like THIS. great job on your fic oh yah, just steal SCRAPS of CRAPPY songs and put fake itallian! that makes everything sound SO much better doesn't it? FUCK YOU AND YOUR MOM

_To Kitsune,_

The Pairing

Like I have mentioned earlier, I enjoy a good KK or EK. However, I do understand that KK can sometimes be a touchy subject, especially for all the Tomoe fans out there. But, I believe, that a good story is when you can identify with the characters and this is why I have chosen to write a KK. I have a soft spot for Kaoru. Having faced what she has, losing her mother, her father, being perpetually alone save for Dr. Gensai, I find it amazing that she managed to retain her spunk and vivacity for life. Her strength and steel never fails to heighten my respect and admiration for her and it is for this reason that I always return to writing about her. I can understand how her free-spirited and energetic ways may rub others the wrong way, but it's all perception, isn't it?

This is also why I believe that Enishi and Kenshin would be attracted to her. She represents something innate in all of us that we have allowed to be left buried for far too long. It is that which speaks out to something deep in Enishi, him having lost his family at a young age and having gone through what he has in China, and it is that which calls out to Kenshin, him having been alone for so long. Kaoru is the bright spark in the age of rebuilding and reparations. She stands for that which Kenshin has sought to protect with his tainted soul and broken heart, and she also represents that which Enishi has given up along the way of climbing through the ranks of the Chinese Mafia. Thus it seems believable that they would turn to her to regain that selfsame innate quality which they have lost.

Why I do not write a Tomoe fic is because of the lack of understanding and tie that I have with her. Despite my respect for her, I must admit that I do not feel as much affinity for her as I do for Kaoru. Kaoru seems to be a more 'approachable' character than the formidable Tomoe, I must say, so please accept my apologies for not inserting her in my fics as often as I do Kaoru. However **(SPOILER ALERT)** Tomoe _will_ be making an appearance (sort of) and that is all I will say about this matter. **(SPOILER ALERT)**

The Song Lyrics

Well, they're mostly in there because I'm an obsessive fan of music as well. Gackt being my favourite Japanese artist, I could never leave him out of a partial song fic that I'm writing. Moreover, _Hoshi no Suna_ was the mood in which my fic was written to. A kind of theme song for the fic, it explains perfectly through its harmony, cadence and rhythm, the entire story... in one song. Having the lyrics in my fic was an added bonus for me because I wanted to portray through a tuneless story what Enishi and Kaoru were going through in their relationship. Many things need not be spoken but can expressed through a melody or simply the touch of your hand, and it is through the lyrics that I was hoping my story would take flight. Whether or not I've succeeded in successfully expressing it, I do not regret adding the lyrics because this story is an extension of me. Like a limb to the body, _La ballata della luna_ lives and breathes through my words and imagination. How can I betray it by writing what people want and not what I feel?

Furthermore, Enishi _is_ a musician (or did I not explain that clearly in my story? I apologize if that was the case) so it would only be right to have lyrics in the story, isn't it?

The Italian

With reference to the Italian title (incidentally it means 'the ballad of the moon') it's really a quirk of mine. Currently studying Italian, I like the romance and the mystic of the language and the kind of emotions it lends to the story. If you do notice, the moon, stars, darkness, they all play a large part in the story in their reference to the night, an ending of sorts, something which the story is about.

_Adesso_ is a real Italian word, and no, I'm not making that up. For the reason as above, I decided to put it up frankly because I love the way it sounds. Honestly, though it sounds like a rather shallow reason, it's the only one I can offer.

Background information

The reviewer also questioned my grasp and understanding of Rurouni Kenshin, the original story. For sure, I am no Watsuki-sama, hence my understanding would already be handicapped for that reason. Moreover, I do believe that there _is_ a limit to which characters can be bent and fitted to the story and yet remain in character. Different circumstances, political and/or geographical climates, background, upbringing etc, makes for slightly altered characters. This being an AU fic, it is impossible that the Kaoru, Kenshin, Sano and Enishi of the fic would be the same as the one in the Anime. However, I also believe that perceptions and different angles make for a completely disparate analysis of characters. For example, some may find Enishi to be a psychopath, others may give him more leeway for his lonely and difficult childhood. It is for this reason that I hope that you can understand and forgive my transgression when it comes to the way I mold and portray my characters. They are not only a product of their past, but also a product of my own history. Hence it may seem that they are OOC to you when I find them perfectly in character.

But if I am being condemned for my seemingly shallow understanding of RK, I must first say that RK is **_not_ **Samurai X. Samurai X is the name that AXN so generously bestowed upon the wonderfully crafted anime, and it is not the official nor true name of the anime. Secondly, I **_have_**, in fact, read the manga (translated into Chinese) and watched the anime, considering that I have the entire series (non-dubbed). And if I may be allowed to express my owner's pride, I do have the OVA and have watched the Seisshouhen arc as well. Thus do forgive me for being a tad affronted that I would be accused of having 'everything you based your little story on is COMPLETELY false and just PROOVES you didn't read the manga.'

Lastly, I'd just like to explain that this is less in response of your flame, as it is a response to the questions that you've brought up. I do not believe myself to be an author who is so protective over my works that I would ignore criticism and feel offended by it. However, I do hope that constructive criticism towards my work, my _fanfiction_ would be given, instead of directing it at my ideas and my mother. Putting my works on ffnet is considered an outlet for my thoughts and I am willing to be shot at for my horrendous grammar or my terribly offending spelling, but to be attacked for my character as a person, that was something, I must say, I did not expect. How high the price of artistic rights seems to be!

* * *

On a lighter note, to all my other reviewers:

**BelleDayNight**: I like your imagination! Maybe I should pick on some of your ideas next time! In fact, why are you reading my story, your imagination works much better than mine! lol And I'll tell you a secret, I hate stats too. I'm glad you got an A... I did too, thinking about it, but I never quite liked it anyway. Bleh. Oh, and _chica?_ Are you Spanish? Wait, it _is _a Spanish word right? I'm hoping to keep showing Kenshin's _kawaii _and _yasashi_ side (that's the right word for warm/sweet right?) I'm just glad you liked it too!

**Jade Catseye**: Hehe, this is going to end up a KK, though like I said, I'm thinking of writing an EK ending to it as well. I'll have to see how my timetable would allow for this ambitious move! But I'll keep writing anyhow! Thank you for your wonderful praise, it's an honor to see my name on your favs list, it really is. To be able to reach out to you and touch you, it's something I've been hoping to do. Thank you for that confirmation, it makes my day to know that.

**CrescentStar**: I hate it how characters are thrown together just like that. Sounds pretty unnatural and 'wrong' to me. But I can understand the anxiety of the authors too. It's hard having to build up the tension and the atmosphere all the time. I just want to bring the characters right into the center of the action all the time! It's tough you know, holding myself back. Yet it has to be done. sigh. An author's gotta do what an author's gotta do! Kaoru would probably continue in her confusion, but soon enough, the truth would have to prevail!

**cincygurl22**: Thank you for your encouragement! I haven't quite thought about whether or not she passes the test, but I guess since you're so eager to know, I'll fit that into the next chapter... somehow. -grinz- Just for YOU! Emotions are a very important part of my life, it dictates my views and my reactions so it's also an integral part of the story. Being an author who believes in the power of _showing and not telling_, I'd recommend watching out what actions the characters do because that would explain a great deal more!

**The evil witch**: Mou.. you're scary... Haruko backs away slowly don't kill me!!!! lol I'm such a bully in class too, I can understand what you're like.. I think. Maybe you're worse than me. Good luck with that! But seriously, thanks for the encouragement. You're one of my 'faithful' reviewers who follow me throughout my entire story and I can't thank you enough for the amount of support you've given me. Thank you.

**areen**: lol It's rather tragic that you're only writing to ask me what the word means. But since you've actually _reviewed_ I guess I do owe it to you to give you an answer. _Tsuzuku_ means 'to be continued'. What an anticlimactic answer right? Although it's true. -grinz-

_**Outtakes!**_

Take #1 (Chapter 1)  
  
Enishi: Want to listen to a song?  
  
Kaoru: -narrating- _I nodded. How else was I supposed to react to such a question anyway?_ Do you know how to play 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA?  
  
Enishi: -sweatdrop-... no.  
  
Haruko: CUT!!!  
  
Take #2  
  
Kenshin: Kaoru-chan.  
  
Kaoru: Ke-kenshin?-narrating-_ I could not hide the disbelief that crept into my voice at his disarming grin and his relaxed posture._  
  
Kaoru: I.. I thought you were busy with soccer, what with the competitions coming round and all.  
  
Kenshin: Yeah, but I'd rather be busy with you. -nudgenudgewinkwink-  
  
Kaoru: -turning red- Na-nani??  
  
**_SMACK_**  
  
Haruko: Stick to the script baka!!  
  
Take #3  
  
Enishi: You're here.  
  
Kaoru: Ah... what are you playing?  
  
Enishi: 'The Sound of Music', wanna sing along?  
  
Haruko: Oroooo... cut.   
  
Enishi: The hiiiills are aliiiive...  
  
Haruko: Cut!  
  
Enishi: ...With the sooooound of muuuuusiiiiiiiiiic...  
  
Haruko: CUUUUUUUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**_BangCrashSmash_**  
  
Take #4  
  
Kenshin: Here.  
  
Kaoru: Eh?  
  
Kenshin: Here are all my notes. It's more concise and easy to read than the text considering you only have 20 more minutes to study before the test begins.  
  
Kaoru: Thanks. -flips through it-... Ano... it's... it's... -blushes-  
  
Haruko: -fumes- HIMURA KENSHIN!!! WHY ARE YOU SHOWING HER **_PLAYBOY_**????  
  
Take #5  
  
Kaoru: 'Nishi?  
  
Enishi: Hmm?  
  
Kaoru: What's your favourite song, among all the songs you've written?  
  
Enishi: -seriously- 'Twinkle twinkle little star'.  
  
Kaoru: Ara?  
  
Enishi: -continues on- Everyone thinks that Mozart wrote it, but it's not true! I did it! I'm the genius!!  
  
Kaoru: -inches towards Haruko- Kowaii...  
  
Enishi: It's me! Me! Me all along!!!  
  
Haruko: -whispers- Here's an opening, let's make a run for it.  
  
Enishi: ...I was the one who put so much effort and time into the composition! Just cos he's dead... -snorts- If I was dead too...  
  
Haruko: NOW! -starts running like crazy-  
  
Enishi: -oblivious- ...and...  
  
Take #6  
  
Kaoru: -narrating- _Kenshin... _was he still the boy I loved? And am I still the same girl who loved him? Staring at the figures and numbers swimming in front of me, I suddenly felt lost and confused. What did all this mean?   
  
Sano: -offstage- She thinks you're still a _boy_ Ken-_chan_!!   
  
Kenshin: Orororooooo... that's a low blow Kaoru-chan... -scowls-  
  
Kaoru: But-but... Harukooooooooooo-  
  
Haruko: Heheheh, gomen ne Kenshin... but...  
  
Kenshin: -whines- Change it now! Now! Now!!!! Or I'm gonna quit!  
  
Haruko:-resigned- Hai hai... -mutters- If only I could get more money I could hire Soujirou who's more accomadating. Stupid unions... Asked them whether I could get more _professional _actors but what do they say??? Huh? Huh????


	5. Chapter III: Orenji no Taiyou

Chapter III: Orenji no Taiyou  
  
Something was wrong. It's one of those feelings where you're standing in an open space and you just know that something is not quite right. You can't put your finger on it, but before you even know it, it has started raining. My hand was poised on the handle of the door, the entrance to the living room of the mansion where the closed door itself already made me feel uneasy. Enishi never closed the door. He always left it open for me. _Always._  
  
"'Nishi?"  
  
The door creaked open ominously like the Sixth Sense coming back to life in front of my eyes. Scanning the room from the right to the left, I quickly noticed an anomaly in the form of a huddled figure at the corner of the room. Shivering with his head thrown back at an awkward angle, it was only when I snapped back to reality did I realize that figure was my beloved Enishi.  
  
"Enishi!!"  
  
A shriek tore out from my throat long before I realized what I was saying. Frightened beyond my wits I ran to him while repeatedly telling myself that he was alright.   
  
_'How can he be** fine**?? The whites of his pupils are showing!! He's convulsing!!!'_  
  
"ENISHI!!!!"  
  
Pulling him up from his limpid posture, I had no more strength other than to lay him comfortably on the floor. It was only then that I noticed the needles on the floor. Half-filled with some strange substance, it did not take me long to put the pieces together.  
  
"Oh 'Nishi, why…?"  
  
"Hnnn…"  
  
Enishi moaned as he shifted from his position onto the floor and turned so he lay on his side facing me. Even still, he did not show signs of regaining consciousness anytime soon. With a sigh of relief, I knew that he was fine… for now.  
  
Yet, gazing at the form of the man I came to care for, I wonder what possessed him to turn to such dangerous methods of surviving. I thought only music could touch him, and up to recently, I believed that I was enough. I suppose, nothing ever is enough.  
  
My hand stretched out of its own accord to brush aside the unruly snowy bangs of his. I knew that they would never be put into place, neither would the image of a tamed Enishi be possible, but I just wanted to feel him. To reach out and know that he was within my grasp, that he was there. Somehow, between that fateful night where I met him at the lonely pavement, to the day he took my first kiss, he found a special place in my heart and buried his presence there.  
  
_"And once a person is buried in your heart, they scorch your very soul with their being and then, you never forget them, Kaoru-chan. That's love, that's the strength and tenacity of love."_  
  
"Oh 'Nishi, what do you want from me?"  
  
Finally, my racing heart slowed to a relaxed pace as I rested on my haunches and silently kept a close vigil on Enishi. Staring at his peaceful visage, I realized that I have yet to see him so at rest before. Even when he was with me, he always seemed to be on guard, watching and waiting… but for what?   
  
"Koishii…"  
  
Enishi murmured as his hand reached out in his sleep, his expression so anxious that I could not help but comply as I fitted my palm comfortably in his. Strange how he always seemed so cold though autumn was barely arriving. Nevertheless, I kept my hand in his as the worries seem to melt from his face and he smiled.  
_  
'So innocent, so sweet, so warm… that must be what he lost.'  
_  
"Koishii…" He repeated, so affectionately that it made my heart skip a beat to hear such depth from him. Is this what it would be like to be loved? Treated with such deep emotions, revealing your vulnerability to the person you care for? Stripped of all pride, pretences and masks, all your thoughts and feelings laid bare before the one you love?  
  
I think I could learn to reciprocate.  
  
"Koishii…"

* * *

Stifling a yawn, my eyes teared up regardless as I stretched in my uncomfortable chair, hoping to keep myself awake.   
  
_Poke._  
  
My stretched limbs found their way back to my side as I turned to the culprit behind me. Not even glancing at his face, I knew that Sanosuke was the one who would be irritating me in the middle of class. Not only was it because of his strategic seat behind me, it was also because of his annoying habit of making me mad. He just so loved to see me spitting flames out of my mouth and witness the burning wrath and promised threats in my eyes. What a dunce.  
  
"Sano…" I softly yet harshly growled out his name, putting all my pent up frustrations and exhaustion into that one word.  
  
Yet when my eyes bore a hole into the guilty party, all I saw were concerned purple orbs staring back at me.  
  
"Ken-kenshin?" I blurted out surprised. Was something amiss?  
  
"Kaoru-chan, are you alright? You seem so tired today and your uniform is crumpled! It can't be from studying because the summer break is arriving at the end of the week and we don't have any tests, so why are you always yawning? Didn't you sleep well last night?"  
  
Sleep? Last night? Just thinking back about the day before made me want to crumple onto the floor and weep.  
_  
"Koishii, stay. Tonight. Just for tonight, could you stay by my side?"_  
  
As if finding him on the floor high on some strange toxins a few days back was not enough, Enishi was more demanding of my attention and time. Yet faced with his pleading gaze and gentle embrace, there was nothing I could do but assent to his request. Because beyond his eyes and hugs, I knew that he was hurting and begging for love, more than anything else. It reminded me of the one request I made of him that he gave to me willingly without hesitation:  
_  
"Is… is it alright if I just stayed here and listen?"  
_  
So for once, I held him in my embrace and fell asleep in that position. Still clothed uncomfortably in my school uniform, I clung to him the way I hoped someone would hold me one day. At least if I could not fulfill my own impossible dream, Enishi would have had a wish of his granted.  
  
_"I'll be here, until you close your eyes and sleep. So just rest, just rest, 'Nishi…"_  
  
Another poke.  
  
"Kaoru-chan!"  
  
"Ah??"  
  
The warning came a little too late because a ruler slammed on my table as I turned back to lock gaze with my livid Statistics teacher.  
  
"Miss. Kamiya!"  
  
"Hai!"  
  
It was safer if I sounded eager. Hopefully he would find some semblance of pity in his black, filth-coated heart to forgive this poor girl with the puppy-dog eyes.  
  
"Don't think that you can turn your attention away from my class and get away with it by looking pathetic!"  
  
Or not.   
  
At least I tried.  
  
"And don't you **dare** think that just because you managed to scrap through the last test, you are permanently off the hook!!"  
  
Brandishing his thick wooden ruler as a Samurai would his katana; the teacher pointed it at me like a gauntlet he was more than eager to throw.  
  
"I'm **watching **you, Kamiya." Stabbing the ruler towards me with each word, he repeated the sentence in a dangerously soft and quiet tone as he bent closer to me.   
  
"I'm. Watching. You. Kamiya."  
  
"H-hai."  
  
I unconsciously shrank back in my seat hoping that the chair would just implode along with me so I could escape the frighteningly piercing glare of the teacher. If he just so as much raised the level of intensity by a few notches I'm sure I would have shriveled up and died in that spot.  
  
Thankfully, the bell rung as the teacher was about to make another caustic remark and he merely huffed as he turned to grab his books.  
  
"Class dismissed!"  
  
Barely catching my breath, I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt a warm hand clasping my shoulder.  
  
"Kenshin! You scared me half to death!"  
  
Patting my chest in an attempt to slow my thumping heart from the abuse it was placed under earlier and Kenshin's abrupt gesture, I cocked my head to send a mock glare in his direction.  
  
"Gomen, Kaoru-chan. But are you alright? You've been so lethargic and listless today, it's really not like you at all."  
  
Shaking my head and shooting Kenshin my sincerest smile; and it was real, all my smiles turn genuine when it comes to Kenshin; I assured him of my healthy condition.  
  
"Please don't worry about me. I'm really fine."  
  
_Other than the fact that I met up with a wonderful guy who's a little strange, abusing drugs like there's no tomorrow and to top it off, he' leaving when summer break arrives!_  
  
"I'm… really fine."  
  
Looking at me disbelievingly, Kenshin merely sighed when faced with my stubborn posture and unyielding smile. Kenshin then placed something in my hands, and I was surprised to see that it was my favorite Cadbury Hazelnut chocolate. My puzzlement must have been very obvious because Kenshin grinned worriedly at me.  
  
"It's nothing really, but whenever you're tired, it's good to have some energy booster. I got this for you during break… and since we have this class together…"  
  
"Ahh…" Tearing the aluminum foil off, I took a bite. "Oishii desu!!"  
  
Kenshin's wane smile turned to a full bloom grin at my enthusiastic reaction as he brought his hand up to scratch his head in embarrassment.  
  
"Take care of your heath ok? I… worry about you."  
  
"Hai!"  
  
But when I turned away, the smile could not help but fade as I took another bite of the chocolate in my hand.  
  
_Oh Kenshin, why did it take you 'til now to finally be caring?_

* * *

"Why?"  
  
I stared at the lush scenery outside the window, feeling the faintest rays of the sunlight streaming over me, bathing me with their soft warmth. Even faced with all the greenery, all I could really see was white. The white leather jacket that he always wore, the white baggy pants, the shocking white hair... they were always the sight I see when I closed my eyes. And now, even with my back towards him, all I could ever see, was white.  
  
"Why what?"  
  
His nonchalant answer just made my hackles raise a notch higher. What kind of an answer was that!  
  
"Why. Did. You. Take. Those. Drugs?"  
  
His footsteps neared my position at the window sill as I felt the reverberations on the floor. Despite my visual impairment at that time, I could feel his close proximity, his over-bearing presence scarcely a few centimetres away from me. His coolness, his tickling breath and tantalizing scent overwhelmed me just as his fingers reached out to curl themselves around my right arm.  
  
"Why?" His reply came out laconic and lazy, yet laced with a tinge of concern and strangely misplaced rapture. "Why does it matter to you?"  
  
Whipping my head back, my eyes ablaze, it was then that I noticed his expression of pure confusion. Has no one ever cared for him? It can't be so, for how else could he have written such beautifully poetic music otherwise? Yet here he was, bewildered by my gesture of pure affection.  
  
"Because I _care_. It matters to me because I care for you. That's all."  
  
"Why do you care for me?"  
  
He planted his hands by his side, having long since released his grip on my arm. He looked adorable with his hair mussed up in its usual manner and his head cocked to one side as he regarded me seriously, more morosely than I have ever known him to be.  
  
I shrugged.  
  
"Do I need a reason?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
He replied without hesistation. For that split second, he reminded me of one of the students in my class, a boy who sat at the back, always staring out of the window, hoping for a chance to open it and jump out to explore the world. So fascinated was he by what was outside that he was utterly convinced it was the only truth and beauty in the world. Thus he missed the lectures and lessons, securing himself a position in summer classes and a great deal of verbal lashing from my form teacher as well as my acid tongued Statistics teacher.   
  
"So... where does your music come from?"  
  
"From inside me."  
  
"Where inside you?"  
  
He was stumped, I could tell. It was rather surreal, seeing the ever cool and collected Enishi fumble with a simple question.  
  
"How would I know?" was his irritated answer followed by a brash tussling of his already messy hair.  
  
"So how can you expect me to know why I care for you?" I tugged his left hand with my right as I smiled gently to the confused boy. "It's like your music. Something deep in you calling out to you to answer. It nags and pulls at you until you give in to it."  
  
Feeling myself ensconced in his arms, I relaxed into his embrace. Though it was not the warmth that I would have wanted, it filled my soul with a kind of quiet peace that I could not seem to find anywhere else.  
  
"Never again, Enishi, promise me. Never again."  
  
Without having to ask, he merely nodded his head as he buried himself deeper into my being.  
  
"Ahh... no more."

* * *

I held his hand within mine as we lay on the sofa, facing the same window. The setting sun sent streaks of crimson-orange all over the land. Bathed in the soft glow of the burning disc, the land looked like it was crying. Crying for some redemption that always seemed too far away. Next to me, Enishi lay his head atop mine as he hummed to a nameless tune I did not recognize. It must have been something new.  
  
"Yuugure ni kimi to mita...orenji no taiyou... (_in the evening I saw you... the orange sun_)..."  
  
I sighed in his embrace gently caressing the needle marks on his exposed skin.   
  
"...nakisou na kao o shite... eien no sayonara... (_you looked like you were going to cry... eternal goodbye_)..."  
  
Enishi stopped, bringing his free hand up to thread his finger through my hair. It seemed that my dark locks must remind him of the past because each time he does that, he always has that faraway look in his eyes, one that speaks of great sorrow and anguish.   
  
"Is that a new song?"  
  
"Ahh."  
  
He was rarely this quiet which made me all the more worried. Enishi reminds me of the moon. So beautiful, so visible and so very lonely. Belonging entirely to himself, he hangs sadly in the midnight sky, his pale light illuminating the way home for so many lost souls, yet always stuck in the same spiral himself. Down, down, down.   
  
"Sou. What is it called?"  
  
Lifting his head from its position next to mine, he smiled softly.  
  
"...ikutsumono yorokobi ya kanashimi mo... kazoekirenai deai ya wakare mo... (_A great many joys or sorrows... countless meetings or farewells_)..."  
  
"'Nishi..."  
  
And suddenly I didn't really need to know, because he was singing our song. The song that was a living proof of me lying in his arms right now, of the rapid thumping of my heart and the strange stinging sensation behind my eye lids. This song represented everything that needed to be said, and it spoke of the silences that did not need to be explained. It was the beginning and the ending of everything.   
  
"The day after tomorrow, Koishii. We will meet then, that will be the last day."  
  
He did not need to explain further, I knew what he was saying.   
  
"Must it be so?"  
  
_Anata ga kieteiku... you are vanishing..._  
  
"You can leave with me."  
  
He was serious, I could tell. Tightening his hold on me, Enishi enveloped me in his arms with all the intensity and passion he could muster. And I embraced him with all the fervour and emotions I could give.   
  
"How can I?"  
  
I asked incredulous. It meant...   
  
"Drop everything, come with me. I'll be waiting."  
  
"But..."  
  
He brushed my hair back, gazing at me with those eyes that spoke of sadness and great anguish. Didn't I want to erase them away?  
  
"Think about it. No promises now, but I'll be waiting anyway. I'll be there, at the roadside. I'll be there... So if I see you there, it means we're going, if not, I don't ever want to hear 'goodbye'."  
  
_I lightly kissed your cheek  
And always watched   
As you walked away_

_**Tsuzuku**_

* * *

A/N: This is going to be very brief because I'm so tired from all this writing. Please check the previous chapter. I've installed something new at the end, right after the replies to the reviewers, it's a few scenes of 'Outtakes!', something that my strange, obsessive and perverted mind came up with. Hope you enjoy it! It's sort of in response to a **T for teapot** who mentioned that I should merge something with the author's note. Let me know what you think of it. In fact, it'll be really interesting for **_you_** the reviewers and readers to come up with your own outtakes of the story too! I'd be most interested to see what you can come up with!

To my wonderous (wonderful and fabulous put together) reviewers:

**Matsuta, T for teapot, Angie, Jen, BelleDayNight, MaryDFair, , cattleya, bluejeans, blackheartedkid, donna8157, Firuze, kenshin's angel, graviaddict, Tsuki-san, Silent Tears of Agony, Yukimaru.** Thank you so much for your continued encouragement and dedication to this fic. I feel greatly honoured to know that when I hit a rough patch like this, I can count on you for your support and endless words of comfort. This fic would have never made it this far without you. Please forgive me for my delay in updating as well as not having individual thanks because I want to put this up asap for all of you. This is dedicated to the ones who taught me that the true meaning of writing lies not only in me conveying my thoughts, but the want to share something of mine with you. You are my moral support and a great reason why I'm still writing. Thank you.

Haruko


	6. Chapter IV: Secret Garden

Chapter IV: Don't Forget Me Secret Garden

A/N: The supernatural bits are coming in now, so do look out for them. I apologise for the lack in editing because I'm flying off tomorrow morning and I wanted to get this out to you guys before I leave, as a thank you gift. Moreover, a great big **_thanks_** to the mysterious person who voted me in the RKRC awards! Thank You!

To my reviewers, thank you, I'm in a rush, so next time k?

  To be completely honest, I can't remember what happened. Nothing. Not my name, not my past, not my favorite colors, food, nothing. All I can hear at the words, the voice singing through my almost blank memory. That, and the color white.

  It has been a few days, I think, but I can't be sure. It's not that I couldn't see the world outside this strange room, it's just that the rising and the setting of the sun doesn't quite make much sense to me at all. Because even as I step into the sun's beams, it's not warmth I feel and even as the moon rises with the windows left open, there's not a draft of coolness on my skin. Just... nothing.

  Still, I sit in this living room, richly furnished yet surprisingly Spartan at the same time, enjoying the sunset every evening. There's a special kind of charm, I suppose, in the ending of the ay. In the deep colors that are splayed all over the land, giving hues to the normally clinical colored room I sat in. Yet, my connection to this magnificent sight of nature's beauty seem to stem far deeper than simple admiration of the brilliant shades. Nonetheless, I could not remember, all that remained were the words.

  "Yuugure ni kimi to mite... orenji no taiyou... (_in__ the evening I saw you... the orange sun_...)"

  But where did the music come from?

  "What beautiful words to sing to the sunset."

  A voice sounded behind me.

  Surprised that another person could and would enter this white washed prison of mine, I did not reply, merely continuing my observation of the scenery outside.

  "Who are you? I thought this house has been abandoned for a long time."

  Abandoned? The furniture was so well kept without a speck of dust! And if it was abandoned, then why was I here?

  "Well, it isn't anymore." I softly murmured, answering myself more than him, the boy, no, man what was behind me.

  "What are you doing here then?"

  He seemed to be full of questions, simple questions that I couldn't quite seem to have an answer to. 

  "Does it matter?" I could not help but reply coolly, hiding my growing sense of helplessness behind a wall of nonchalance.

  I could hear his footsteps as he walked further and further from the door and closer and closer to where I sat.

  **Thump. Thump.**

  It sounded familiar, the weight, the shoes slapping against the wood...

 ** Thump. Thump.**

  He walked in a rhythm I must have known and was very much associated with, because it all seemed like a past memory echoing through the vaults of my hidden thoughts.

  **Thump. Thump.**

  He was behind me.

  "You look familiar."

  "Can you tell? You're looking at my back."

  "You remind me of my friend who's in the hos-"

  He never quite finished that sentence because I turned around.

#

  His hair was that of the dying sun. Crimson and set a flamed by the fading amber beams of sunlight, his violet eyes only added to the sense of loss I could feel permeating around him. The despairing tone of his voice was now given a face and a meaning as I openly stared at the man in front of me. I supposed it was only fair that he was allowed to leave his gaze on my face as well, but when it was obvious he was gawking, it started turning decidedly uncomfortable.

  "_Anou_... is there something on my face?" Not that I could see anyway, there wasn't a single mirror to be found in the house.

  Reaching towards me, he caressed my hair as he leaned forward to continue his staring session.

  Blink blink.

  "_Anou_... is something wrong?"

  "_Hen ni._" He choked out. "Who _are_ you?"

  "Does it-"

  "Yes. Yes it does matter. A great deal."

  He spoke so forcefully it scared me. Like I was supposed to understand him, like I was supposed to respond to that deep urgent need that wavered in his tone.

  "I... I don't know. I swear I don't know."

  Sighing, his fingers lifted to rake through his unruly locks as I openly stared at him. A handsome boy-man, his striking features must have turned a lot of heads wherever he went. Did they make me stop in my tracks in the days when I still remembered? Were they a part of my daily routine back when I had my memory? Still, as I continued to stare at him, it seemed that he was in some kind of a personal turmoil, a battle waged in a frail and fragile human frame.

  "So what _do_ you know?"

  "Nothing really. Not my name, not my past... only white, and that song, and..."

  "And...?"

  He leaned forward, peering into my eyes as though he could pry some sort of secret hidden within their depths. And though I knew not how my eyes looked, I knew without a shadow of doubt that he would only see vast emptiness in them. How could someone without a pass hold anything else?

  "And a name, I can remember a name, that's all."

#

  There was a knock on the door. Though he did not need to be so formal with me, I knew that Kenshin did it more for the sake of politeness, than any real necessity. It's been about a week since I've gotten to know the strangely familiar boy who was the soul of courtesy, the same courtesy that belied a kind of urgent need to break through the barrier my strange amnesia built. Always, always he was asking who I was, what I remembered, but my mind drew a blank beyond the music and the color. Always.

  "Come in."

  A sandwich in hand, he offered it to me though he knew I would decline, like I did the seven days before.

  _"Don't you ever eat?"_

_  I shrugged. How does one eat when one's appetite is not whetted?_

"How is she?"

  He stiffened as I brought the topic of his friend up once more. He was worried about her since her accident, and though I knew that it would hurt him to be reminded of it, I could not help the curiosity that was piqued by her existence. Who was she? What was she to him? How did she get into the accident?

  "Still the same." was his seemingly nonchalant reply.

  "No reaction at all?"

  His silence was all that I needed to know. It spoke far more than the rigid posture he assumed or the sharp turn of his head as he concentrated on chomping down the salami sandwich in his hands.

  _Don't ask anymore._

_  It only reminds me of how she looks as she slumbers on._

_  Her dreamless coma._

"So how was your day?"

  He answered and I asked yet another meaningless question. It seemed so redundant and useless that I wanted to block out all his presence even as it creeps into my thoughts and my waking moments. Each minute I spend alone is a minute I spend pondering about an existence that seems so excessive. As if there isn't enough people, as if there isn't enough stragglers. Still, as I sat there wondering, my eyes drift to him and knew that despite wanting to will myself out of actuality and erase myself from reality, it was moments like these that I was grateful for my being... _to be with him._

  "Kenshin."

  "Ah?"

  "She's only been... _asleep _for eleven days right, so shouldn't she be waking soon?"

  He grimaced and frowned at the abrupt change in topic as he continued to glare at the crumpled paper-wrap in his hands.

  "Nobody knows, nobody really knows, not even the doctors."

  "You... you care a lot about her don't you? So why are you here with me?"

  He sucked in a breath as though the air around him held the answers he's been searching for. Holding it, I knew that he didn't want to reply though to remain silent would be rude. And from my knowing him for the past week, he was anything and everything polite and sensitive.

  "After I heard about her accident the first thing I did was to run to the site where the car crashed into her, not the hospital. I don't know why. I knew she was in a coma, I knew that she was not waking up anytime soon but all that ran through my mind was that she must still be _stuck_. Somewhere, anywhere. Left behind and so her mind can't catch up with her body, I just wanted something to believe in I guess."

  He buried his face in his upturned palms as though praying. Continuing forth, he hardly stopped to catch a breath.

  "And from there, I walked, I walked and walked calling out her name, hoping... then I finally arrived here. I met you. You. 'How could it be?' I asked myself, 'how could there be someone who looks just like _her_ but isn't?'"

  He stood up to pace around the vast room, looking like a demigod in all his glory as his blood-red hair shone with the benison of the fading beams of sunlight. A shattered demigod.

  "I went to the hospital and saw her lying there, just lying like the she that I could not recognize. She doesn't belong to the silence and the coldness of the room. She's the sunshine and moonbeams and all that. She's the one who brings me out of my trance when I start to wallow in self pity. She's the one who grabs my hand and tugs me forward when all I want to do is stumble and fall. She's the one who... who..."

  By then, he crumpled onto the floor in a crying mess. Maybe this was what he needed after all.

  "And that's why you came to me, because I looked like her, and unlike her, I'm still awake."

  Tears rolled unchecked and unbidden down his cheeks as he bawled his broken heart out.

  I walked to him and pulled him close to me as the color white flashed through my mind once more. I've done this before, I knew I did, though the weight in my hands felt foreign, the same feeling of protectiveness and warmth flooded my being. The color white flitted across my eyes as I stared at his crimson bangs.

  Then, I spoke the words that came from somewhere in me that I didn't recognize. It sounded so hollow and empty, like an echo through a deserted cave.

  "Never again, Enishi, promise me, never again."  


	7. Chapter V: Love Songs

Chapter V: Love Songs

"You look different today."

Kenshin sat next to me, on the floor, while I took my usual position on the couch. It's been a few days since my strange outburst and though we don't quite understand what it means or who 'Enishi' is, it still gives us some kind of hope that I might regain something back. We've been ignoring the subject for awhile, and I do believe it's because Kenshin does not want to lose hope that I might somehow be connected to that girl in the hospital. Everyday he has been shuttling back and forth between the hospital and here that I feel rather sorry for the poor boy. Though I must admit that I was initially rather envious of his obvious deep-seeded affection for the girl, it has now faded to a kind of quiet admiration for the amount of care he showers on her.

_"Do you know what love is?"_

_I stared at him as he gazed back unflinching at my questioning look._

_"Shouldn't you know? **You're **the one who writes all the love songs, sad as they are sometimes."_

_He grinned at my answer. I suppose he was expecting something like that. Afterall, I never quite liked questions like that, too open for discussions that I was not interested in participating in._

_"I suppose I **should**, but I don't, so won't you tell me?"_

_"Enishi, you're exasperating you know."_

_I glared mockingly at his mischievious grin._

_"I know, but you still love me right?"_

_Rolling my eyes as I fell into his arms, I sighed and turned from his triumphant grin._

_"So, want to know what I think love is, Koishii?"_

_"Yes, you annoying brute, you just keep playing with me, right?"_

_He twirled my hair with his fingers, knowing that I loved it when he did it, and it helped to soothe my agitated nerves._

_"But it's so fun!" He protested, whining all the while, hugging me close as he did so. "I think that love... love is a reason, a reason and logic. It is the logic behind the happiness I feel with you, the logic as to why my smiles only belong to you and why all the starts seem to shine in my love's eyes. It is the reason why I can write all my love songs, the reason why I'll ever say goodbye to you, or the reason why even if I do, I'll always return for you, always."_

A hand waved in front of my face as I snapped out of my reverie.

"Hey!"

I looked down at the face that peered with concern at my own. Smiling apologetically, I cocked my head to one side with a questioning look.

"Are you alright? You've been spacing out quite a great deal lately."

Kenshin was right. But it wasn't as if I could help myself, these memories these flashbacks, they just kept coming.

"Do you know what love is?"

"Excuse me?"

Kenshin's face contorted into a confused expression while I stared emotionlessly outside at the flora and fauna that was the garden. It seemed that I was tied more closely to this 'Enishi' than I previously thought I was. There was a kind of secret, a word at the tip of my tongue, yet I knew not was it was.

"Do you know what love is?... He asked me that, he answered that..."

"'He'?" Kenshin stared pointedly at me as a kind of comprehension dawned on him. "You're talking about Enishi right? This has got something to do with Enishi, right?"

I shook my head, not quite knowing whether it meant he was right or wrong. For all I knew, it could be a memory so distant that it was meaningless. Yet the more I thought about it, the more I realised that I could not let go of it. _Enishi..._

"I think so. I think I need to find him, somehow."

I stretched my right hand and tugged at Kenshin's polo shirt. I knew that I could not do it myself... I needed...

"Kenshin, will you help me? Will you help me find Enishi? It's very important. I need to find him, he's the key, he's the one thing keeping me here, I just know it, I know it, you must help me, you must..."

I could not stop blabbering. I was getting closer and close to something, I just knew it.

"Is something amiss? You're not acting normal... and your hair..."

"Kenshin, I've _never_ been normal, you know that."

I held onto him in my vice-like grip refusing to let him bring the topic away from Enishi despite how important it was to him. Pulling away from me, Kenshin's fingers found their way into the tangles of his red hair. I could tell that he was debating through my plea. Kenshin takes his word seriously and a 'yes' always meant just that, a 'yes'. To Kenshin, 'ifs', 'buts' and 'maybes' didn't exist, there was a 'yes', and then there was a 'no'. Nothing is done halfway, which made my waiting all the more agonizing because I knew once he declined, there would be absolutely no way he would reconsider.

"Why can't you do it yourself?"

I stared up at him. This was most definitely not the answer I was hoping for. Still...

"I can't leave the house."

Dumbstruck, Kenshin cluelessly looked on as I walked out of the door he came on from, straight through to the front door and returned through the other door located at the corner of the room in less than five seconds, something completely impossible unless I ran really fast from one end of the massive house to the other.

"Do you understand now?" I explained all the while trying to keep myself from breaking down. "I've been trying to _leave_ the house, but I always end up right where I began: back here. I can't go out, I'm stuck. Forever stuck, and... and..."

I could not help myself. Slumping onto the floor, I starting sobbing all the while continuing my meaningless rambling in a manner which I'm sure is the cause for Kenshin's helpless stare.

"Please, _please_ Kenshin. I've never begged anyone before, and I'm begging you now, find him. Find Enishi. **Please**."

* * *

A weight settled itself next to me. Kenshin.

"I've got a lead." Four simple words, but they're the ones I've been waiting to hear. I knew that

"Here."

I stared dumbly at the CD Kenshin thrusted in my face. It looked simple enough, in dark colours with the words in gold and a simple angel dorning the cover. I smiled at the words.

"_Eudaimonia_." I read aloud, smiling once the meaning of the words seeped in. "It's his CD isn't it?"

I didn't have to look up to see Kenshin's nod, the words and the CD in my hands were more than proof of Enishi's work. Reverently, I held the plastic case close to me as tears leaked out from my closed eyes. Though I knew Kenshin was feeling uncomfortable from this constant shifting beside me, I could not help the irrational behaviour I was exhibiting at the moment because now, more than ever, I felt so close to Enishi.

_"Will you write a song for me?"_

_I lay my head on his shoulder as he absently stroked my hair causing me to sigh contentedly. He always treats me like a porcelain doll, something too precious to treat with anything less than great delicacy and care._

_"I don't need to."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because all the songs I have, they're all for you."_

Turning my eyes up to my red haired friend, gratitude shining in my eyes, I whispered a soft yet heart-felt 'thanks'.

"You..."

Though this wasn't the first time that Kenshin has stared at me since we've met, it never ceased to make me uncomfortable being at the receiving end of it.

"What's wrong, Kenshin?"

"Your eyes... they're... they're black!"

I concentrated my focus agonizingly somewhere else as Kenshin continued to gape unabashedly at my orbs. It's not as if I could refute his claims, never having seen my own reflection (which I can remember) before. Moreover, ever since that day I begged Kenshin to find Enishi, he has been mentioning that my features seemed to have had some alterations though we never quite took much notice of it before. Now...

"So I was right," feeling a weight next to the sofa, I finally realised Kenshin's new position next to me. "You _have_ been changing. First I thought your change in hairstyles was my imagination, next I dismissed the different shaped eyes and now, now there's no denying! Your eyes that used to be blue are now black! What's going on??"

Gawking haplessly at Kenshin, I clutched the CD closer to me as though it could answer all the questions and lead me to the truth. Still, nothing.

"I don't know, I really don't know, Kenshin."

_"What do you think is the reason for our being?"_

_I looked at his perfectly formed lips, awaiting the answer that would be ambiguous yet something so entirely him too._

_"Nobody knows, but I think..." he paused, pulling me deeper into his embrace as he contemplated my question. "I think there comes a time when everything in our lives just connect.. They make perfect sense and you have that wonderful feeling of just **being**. And that, that is what we're living towards."_

_Drinking his words in like wine, I wondered._

_"And are you there yet?" I could not help asking._

_"No, but I'm pretty darn close."_

Months later, I opened the dictionary.

**Eudaimonia: A point in a person's life when everything clicks.**

_**Tsuzuku**_

A/N: Really short, I know, I know, but that's to prolong the suspense and cos I thought the ending is good enough where it already is. What do you think? The plot thickens? Hell yeah. But that's the idea too.

To: **MaryDFair, Masutsa, mz.amber eyes, Jen, blindstitched.heart, crazy-bout-fanfics, BelleDayNight, bluejeans, Tsuki-san: _I know that you're confused, but the plot is just thickening, so please bear with me while it all unravels. I just got to college now, so please forgive me if I can't update as frequently as I wish to. Everything's just so new and foreign especially since I'm still suffering from jetlag. 18 hours of flight isn't easy you know! But I'm trying, and thanks for your undying support, it really makes my day._**

To: **donna8157, cincygurl22, rain angst**: **_Thanks for the support, it's not easy writing this and I thank you for your encouragement. Please bear with me and hang on 'til the end, cos I think the ending's going to be fun, well, at least for me to write. Hehe, see you at the end!_**

_**Haruko**_


	8. Chapter VI: Promises of Yesteryear

* * *

Promises of Yesteryear

"_If I could do this life all over again, I'd undo all my mistakes." He said it with such certainty that it made me wonder what kind of sins he must have committed, what burdens weigh so heavily on his shoulders that time can't seem to shrug off?_

"_Am I your mistake?" I whispered, afraid yet anxious of his answer._

_He brushed the back of his hand against my cheek in a strange yet comforting form of benison as I leaned into his touch like a puppy craving more warmth, more affection, more love._

"_No, you're the only thing I've ever done right, Tomoe."_

* * *

"Tomoe..." I unknowingly breathed the name reverently, enjoying the warm rush that courses through my blood as the word spilled out.

"Tomoe?" Kenshin repeated confused at my sudden loss in focus, not that he hasn't already gotten used to it, considering how I have been losing my concentration these days in increasing frequency.

"Yes, Tomoe."

"Who is she?" His perplexed look was almost cute if it were not for the fact that I finally understood what it all meant.

"I am, Kenshin. **_I_** am Tomoe."

* * *

"_It all becomes completely quiet...from the enwrapped sky and the sun that scorches the body, you are vanishing. _

_What do you wandering, searching for? As for me, all alone..."_

"_Alone is only a word." I murmured, listening to the last strains of his soothing voice fading to nothing. Seeing him sitting there, strumming his guitar as his face held such a sorrowful visage, I wanted to –_

"_Alone only means something if you're not here with me." He spoke up, pulling me close to him._

"_How can you say that if I'm always **in **__you? **With** you?"_

_Burying his face in my hair as he breathed in deeply, drinking my scent the way a dying man thirsts for a drop of nectar, I allowed him to hold me tighter even to the point I felt I would break, because I was already broken, and in his hands lay the rest of the pieces of me._

* * *

"Tomoe."

Kenshin looked at me wonderingly as he shook his head from the disbelief that clouded his eyes. There's something wrong behind the questions that lie on the tip of his tongue, but he kept silent.

"Kenshin, I think I can remember now."

I was certain, this was it. Something in me has awakened to the fact that time has moved forward, pushing me to the cracks between the slabs. But I was renewed, I was whole again and it was time for me to find...

_What are you wandering, searching for?_

Enishi. I'm looking for Enishi.

"What can you remember?" He looked anxious; he always did, when it came to me, because it could have something to do with _her._

"I know this would disappoint you, but I don't know anything about her, I'm sorry, but I can't help you. Everything I remember has to do with my life before, my name, Enishi, his music... I think I'm back to look for him."

Looking as though he was struck by me, anxiety, frustration, hurt, anger, bitterness and a great deal of resentment flashed across his eyes, coloring the purple to a deep honey.

"Tomoe, I'm glad you remember, but can you please, _please_ think a little deeper. It's very important to me; I need to know whether you can think of anything that can help me help her."

He was pleading already. And though I wished I could help with all my heart, my brains could not think up anything that would be of aid to him. All that coursed through my mind was the fact that _I don't want to be alone, alone and without Enishi..._

"I... I can't, Kenshin. I can't. I don't know anything about Kaoru, I can't..."

Kenshin's eyes flashed as his hand whipped out to latch onto my wrist, grabbing it in a vice like grip gentle yet unyielding, the very persona of strength.

"You called her name. I never told you her name."

Shocked, I took two steps back, right into the wall as my mind spun web after web of images. Her smile, his embrace, her tears, his gentle soothing, her pain, his warmth, her fears, his forgiveness... Round and round the pictures twisted, forming a dance of their own, breaking the barriers of reality and dream in one action. I could neither stop nor encourage them on as the images simply assaulted my entire perspective of truth and now. Time held no meaning as she came out of the mist of my memories, pulling me into a different existence than I thought possible.

"_Tomoe, I'm Kaoru, why are you here?"_

"Kaoru?"

I could sense Kenshin's shocked gaze, but there was nothing I could say. I was stuck in the depths of my mind already, held prisoner of my own making.

"_Tomoe... why won't he let me go? Why?"_

She stared at me with the bottomless pit of sapphires that belonged only to her. Those were the eyes that I had before? Those were the orbs that Kenshin fell in love with? I could see every thought, every emotion reflected in those windows of her soul.

"_K-kaoru?"_

I choked. She was me, I was her.

And still, Kenshin would not release his hold as he clamped harder, preventing me from sliding further down the wall as my legs threatened to give way.

"Tomoe! Tomoe!"

Kenshin shouted at me, but I could hardly hear him as the sad voice reverberated once more through my mind, echoing at the deeds I did not remember doing, the memories I did not remember creating.

"_Kenshin and I were supposed to go to the spring dance together... He was my friend, and friends don't break promises."_

"_Friends don't break promises?" _

I repeated dumbly, not quite understanding what else to say in response to her strange misplaced statement.

"_Kenshin was sitting by my bed, I know. I could feel it. I wanted to go back, I really did, but I can't._"

She sounded so upset, frustrated and bereft of hope at the same time.

"_Why, Kaoru? Why can't you return to him?"_

"_Because** he** won't let me. He said that as long as I was going back, **you** can't return."_

He? The conversation took a queer turn for the worst and my mind spun with a greater frequency that I thought possible. By this time, Kenshin had me sat on the floor as I leaned wearily on his shoulder, unable to do anything else but converse with a supposedly comatose yet lost Kaoru in the depths of my consciousness.

"_Why can't I return if you go back?"_

I could feel, rather than hear, Kaoru sigh. It was like my entire mind shook with the expanse of her sorrow as it seeped into my soul, staining it with her pain. She wanted to leave, I know, but yet I could feel a corner of her that was chained to this aimless drifting not of her own accord.

"_Why do I have to return?"_

Once more, Kaoru's silence struck me deep in my heart as I struggled to understand the hidden words she could not speak. Kaoru was as much a prisoner of someone else's making as I was a captive in the strange house on 31 Brighton Lane.

"_I can't say, Tomoe, he won't let me say, and he would know if I said anything...but you must help me Tomoe, you and Kenshin must help me return...I... I want to return to Kenshin's side!_"

She was sobbing, I knew, I could no longer see her fathomless blue eyes, only seeing a huge immensity of emptiness and darkness as Kaoru lost her composure and broke down. Kaoru, the bright spark in Kenshin's eyes, the glow of happiness on his face, the hidden charm in Kenshin's smile, Kaoru, was crying and I could not help her at all.

"Tomoe! Tomoe! What is going on? You know something, tell me! Tell me!"

Kenshin shook me hard, jogging me out of the stupor I found myself unwittingly in early on. His eyes searched mine as though my empty expression would yield some clue as I simply stared back at him all the while hearing Kaoru's plaintive cries for help in my mind. Pulling me close to him, Kenshin placed both hands on my shoulders, jostling me, hoping to awaken me from my semi-comatose state.

"_Help me Tomoe, you must help me! I want to find Kenshin again! I want to see him again!"_

"Tomoe, please... Only you hold the key to Kaoru's revival. Please Tomoe,... _please_."

Kenshin whispered the last words as he slumped to the floor with me in a semi-embrace. Holding my limp body to him, Kenshin kept repeating words of hopelessness mixed with begging as he implored me to reveal the secrets that I myself could not even guess. Who was Kaoru's captor? Why was she being held incarcerated against her will? What did he want with her? What could I do?

"_How can I help you Kaoru, how?_"

Her sobbing slowed as my consciousness heaved and shook along with her seemingly increasing state of tranquility. I could feel something in her reach out to touch me as a sense of urgency yet a state of peace entered my already confused mind.

"_Tell him, Tomoe, tell him to let me go, talk to him...the promise..."_

Promise? What promise have I delivered? Of all the things that I remembered, my life, my reason for being, my meaning for existence, what was left that I had forgotten to remember? What have I unwittingly left behind?

But before she could reply, a memory assaulted my sense, leaving me reeling from the aftereffects of the depth of emotions it erupted in me.

* * *

"_It's the reason... It is the reason why I can write all my love songs... the reason why I'll ever say goodbye to you... or the reason why even if I do...I'll always return to you... always..."_

"_Always? You promise?"_

_I held his gaze in mine as our fingers entwined, lost in the love and warmth we surrounded ourselves in. In this bubble, no one else can touch us, no drugs, no rabid music fans, no poking reporters could delve into the safe haven we found in each other. _

"_I'll promise, if you do."_

_He replied smoothly, unafraid of showing his affection, unlike all the other men out there. Enishi believed in loving the way he formulated his philosophy on living. **Live like you'll never die, love like your heart would never break**. And though he waited and anticipated, he never lost hope or love. _

"_I do."_

* * *

"Kenshin, we must help Kaoru."

"How?" He didn't question me, believing the words I was about to utter because he knew that I was the last connection, the last trace of Kaoru that he could ever find, and if he did not follow this final lead, Kaoru would be gone forever.

"_Help me Tomoe, save me from him..."_

"_Who is he?"_

"_Enishi...Save me from Enishi._"

**Tsuzuku**

* * *

A/N: Does this start to explain things a little? Well, seems that Kaoru's always Enishi's captive eh? Well, this time, there isn't a jinchuu, but Kenshin still has to rescue her, so... Anyway, I hope that this time you weren't waiting too long. Inspiration hit me, and my roommate kept pushing me to write this, I just love her, so I did. Hope that you're not disappointed! Alright, it's 1 in the morning and I'm real tired, so no individual thanks, I'm getting lazy here... But to:

**Kagaomikins, Jen, nargiegirl21, cincygurl22, rain angst, Wistful Eyes, MZ. Amber Eyes, BelleDayNight, MaryDFair, T for teapot, mystal, Matsusa.**

Thank you with your patience in this little baby pats story affectionately. I know that this is confusing, but how many supernatural stories can be understood in one chapter ne? (other than those one shots!) So thanks for all your encouragement and support, it keeps me going (other than my roomie) and gives me the strength to carry La Ballata on. Hope that the ideas that you have going on coincides with mine.. or not, but at least I hope this explains things. Do you feel that light bulb going on?? Review and tell me!

Haruko


	9. Chapter VII: The Final Awakening

The Final Awakening

"Kaoru."

I stirred.

It felt like my consciousness was awakened and something in me started to move. Like a freshly planted idea, it took root and blossomed, flourishing and then...

"Tomoe."

It was him. He was calling out to me from the dimly lit emptiness somewhere.

"Enishi."

I cried out to him, knowing that he would respond in kind. After all, am I not the one he has been waiting for? Am I not the one he gave his entire new life for?

"Koishii?"

His presence neared, the darkness gave way to blinding white as his shockingly-colored hair and pale skin came to view. However, with his cocky grin and twinkling eyes missing, he almost seemed bereft of his entire persona, somehow, almost... vulnerable.

'That's how he's been since you were gone, Tomoe. You're his confidence and reason, something I can never be.'

Kaoru echoed resolutely yet resigned in the depth of my mind, somehow not as far back as before. My musing ceased, though, when I felt his hand brush my arm.

A tentative touch, Enishi was afraid to graze me further as though testing the waters before he was to decide on whether to take the plunge, but I would have none of that. I was no flower, no delicate mimosa that shied away from human touch. Barreling into his embrace, he gasped as my arms wound themselves around him, clutching him as though he was my final salvation. And he was.

"Koishii, it's been too long..."

"Enishi..."

The echo from the depths of my mind rang through my body as I felt a twist in my gut and a wrench in my soul. Grimacing in Enishi's arm, I shuddered and gasped, falling to the floor. It was then that I felt another presence by my side. Though neither able to face it nor turn around, I knew who it was, the phantom residing in my mind.

"Kaoru."

Bending to my side, she smiled at me as the spasms subsided, and though she never touched me, I could feel the warmth radiating off her. Now I could understand why Kenshin fell for such an angel. With her sparkling eyes and bright personality, she was the centre of his universe while he, the satellite planet, basked in her kindness, compassion and great love. It was this abundance of emotions that halted Kenshin's feet, instilling the fear that he could never give her what she wanted and deserved. Because like the lonely planet forever revolving around the sun, afraid to be scorched, fearful too, of inadequacy, he forgets that she is not the sun, and he, the planet. She is just Kaoru, a girl in love with a boy, all too afraid that he would never reciprocate. How love makes cowards of the brave!

I tugged her hand as she bought her gaze to meet mine.

"Kaoru, Kenshin is waiting for you."

I could feel Enishi's hold tighten as I attempted to tell Kaoru all that I could. Love like theirs should never be buried. Love like theirs should have the opportunity to blossom. Love like theirs should be given a chance.

But all she did was smile her soft smile and nodded.

"Yes, I know."

Turning her gaze to Enishi, her eyes told a story of forgiveness, compassion and regret as she spoke.

"Enishi, I thank you for your kindness all this while, though I do realize that most of it stems from the fact that Tomoe was me."

His shocked expression met her serene one as she continued.

"From my days in this darkness, I have learned some truths. Of how you died and lingered on Earth, waiting for Tomoe only to meet me, the body encasing her slumbering soul."

She tightened her hold on my hand as I gripped it in return, hoping to give her all the strength she needed because I knew she had to say the words. Kaoru had to realize what kind of a reality she was living in, and what an illusion it really was, only then can she break this curse, this never ending spiral into insanity.

"I was lonely and sad, Enishi, and though I now know that you took advantage of that, hoping to have Tomoe awaken in the end, I do believe that you did take pity on me and gave me more than polite hospitality. But most importantly, thank you for your music... it cleansed me."

There we were, basking in the silence as the words sank in and my admiration for Kaoru grew. Then, the faint throbbing began. Starting from the tip of my toes, it grew and rose until the entire cloud of emptiness seemed to gyrate in rhythm with it.

"Kaoru."

A whispered word, neither Enishi nor I had spoken.

"Kaoru... where are you?"

We were definitely not mistaken.

"Kaoru... I need you."

It broke through the darkness, escaping into our minds as his voice traced its way into Kaoru's soul. Only an open heart could receive another's message, and seeing that Kaoru and I were inexorably linked forever, I was a stray reception in this binding relationship.

"Kenshin!"

Kaoru's delighted gasp was heard as she pulled herself to her full height, trying to peer out of this abyss.

"Go to him, Kaoru."

I commanded. It was the only right thing to do.

"But..." She hesitated, looking back at Enishi and me.

"Tomoe is already out of you, I am contented."

In those few words, I found acceptance in Enishi and Kaoru. He was releasing her, and she, finding the freedom that she needed.

"Kaoru," Enishi paused, wondering whether he should continue or not. "I'm sorry I've been keeping you here. And now, my music and my Tomoe is here, I hope you can find happiness with Kenshin."

I smiled up, clutching Enishi's hand affectionately as he spoke the words that I believe Kaoru needed to hear.

I was right because right then, Kaoru smiled.

* * *

_If this life is put into this minute_

_Who do I miss the most?_

_It would be you who I can't lose..._

Kenshin's fingers accurately yet somewhat awkwardly strummed the guitar cradled in his hands.

There Kaoru lay, so pristine and perfectly on the bed that he was almost afraid he was interrupting her beautiful dream and would rudely awaken her. Yet if he truly thought about it, the pale pallor of her complexion gave away the ugly truth that his beloved Kaoru was held captive in a never ending nightmarish slumber.

_All the good times are illusions and dreams_

_Who can understand the joy of life?_

_I would say, for love, everything is right_

_Who is more important than you?_

"_**Ken-chan,"**_

If he tried hard enough, Kenshin could almost hear the faint affectionate moniker she labeled him with.

"**_Why do we learn to speak? Why?"_**

If he struggled hard enough, he could almost conjure the words she spoke years ago.

"**_Why, if only so we can hide and lie?"_**

If he labored hard enough, he could almost believe that she was awake.

_Victory or losses are unimportant _

_Who is more important than you?_

_Gales and storms all turn for you_

..._Even as I chase again and again_

She looked so genteel in her seemingly eternal slumber that for a second, Kenshin nearly envisioned Tomoe's serene face staring back at him. It must have been, for haven't they been the same person before? Tomoe and Kaoru, Kaoru and Tomoe, the names rolled around in his mind even as Kenshin sang his song to her. Were they really that same or different?

Two sides of the same coin, the sun and the ocean, parted only by a thin line in the horizon...

_All the good times, though not many,_

_But one minute with you and that satisfies me_

_To be with you, tiding these times,_

..._it's not in vain._

Sometimes he wonders how he never quite noticed it. The changes in Kaoru and how she's distanced herself from everyone since then. He couldn't stop himself from the guilt and blame that he piled on himself. What signs did he miss? How could he have been that unobservant?

"**_Go... I'm fine. I'm always fine, so don't worry, ne?"_**

Kaoru, oh Kaoru, why did you have to lie?

_The more passion that love has, _

_The more mistakes are made,_

... _but who wants to try again?_

_I will say that it's only because of you_

_That even if it's a mistake,_

_- I would try again and again_

Kenshin knew that he never took the time out to watch over Kaoru the way she fussed over him. In all his life, it was always Kaoru who took care of him, Kaoru who sat by his side when he was down, Kaoru who was there every step of the way as he stumbled and fell. Where was he all this while? Where has he _been_ while she was facing her own demons, the loneliness she never revealed?

"**_Please don't worry about me. I'm really fine. I'm... really fine."_**

Where was he was she was standing there in the shadows lying to cover up the bruises and scars hidden by her brilliant smile?

_Thinking of chasing every minute and second in my life_

_Only now do I see_

Where was he?

... _that is foolishness_

_**You** are the real destination_

"Kaoru..." Kenshin whispered as the song faded into the air, echoing in the depths of his bleeding heart.

_As I chase again and again_

_Only now do I see that I've never been lacking_

"Kaoru... where are you?"

_Only now do I see that it is with you_

"Kaoru... I need you."

... _with you that simplicity is my every want and need_.

* * *

"Kaoru... I need you."

She stirred. Barely perceptible to the unobservant eye, but she did stir.

"The song... was it... for me?"

She brought her fingers up to the tears that leaked through his closed lids. Amazed, he opened his eyes to stare back at her cerulean orbs.

"K-Kaoru?"

He knew it was her. She was back.

"Kenshin." Her face blossomed into a smile at his one word.

"You're here, you're here, you're here." He crowed while embracing her thin frame.

Laughing weakly, she could not help but sigh contentedly in the one place she's always wanted to be – there, with Kenshin and only Kenshin.

"Never go again, never go anywhere, just stay here ok?" He released her reluctantly as Kenshin's worried violet eyes bore into her sleepy ones. "I don't know what I'd do if you were to pull a stunt like that again!"

Shaking her head as her eyes filled with the mirth she was too tired to express, Kaoru softly replied.

"It's not like I had a choice!"

Chuckling, Kenshin gently stroked her hair, allowing all the love he hid before to be revealed to the world. He was always too late before. Always a step behind, hurting her without letting her know what he was thinking or feeling. But the time for that has passed. When he saw her lying broken on the bed, it took all of him not to howl in grief and fall into the depths of despair.

"I just need you too much, Kaoru, I just need you too much."

Leaning down to plant a kiss on her raven hair, Kenshin breathed in the scent of life on her, drinking in the comforting knowledge that she was indeed back with him again.

"Ahh." Was Kaoru's drowsy reply.

Kenshin noted her tired response and lay her back down on the hospital bed while pressing the button calling the nurse to notify them of Kaoru's progress. There were many things left to be said between the two, but right now, his Kaoru was fatigued, and he was too, from all the constant worrying.

"Kenshin?" Kaoru's slurred voice broke him temporarily from the fog that descended on his sleep-deprived mind.

"Mm?"

"Will you be here when I wake up?"

Tucking her comfortably under the covers, Kenshin held her hand as he settled on the seat next to her, where he had always been.

"Of course koi, I'll always be here."

"Promise?"

She tightened her hold on him while straining to keep awake, afraid that if she closed her eyes before he agreed, he would be gone once she shut them.

'_So this is how uncertain you are of my affections, how did I never notice this before?'_

"I'll never lie. I promise."

Closing her eyes, Kaoru rested while Kenshin watched over her, content in the revelation of her love and the knowledge that she had returned to his side.

_Adesso_. He had her love now, and she had his.

_kieta kimi o omoitsuzukeru koto shika dekinakute  
boku no kawaru koto no nai kimi e no omoi wa  
fukaku fukaku ima mo,  
sou...aishiteiru_

_I can only keep remembering you who disappeared  
My unchanging feelings towards you  
Deeply deeply even now,  
Yes...I __love__ you_

That was enough.

"Rest now, Koi."

**Owari**

A/N: Oooooh man, it's been such a long time since I've last updated eh? Well, school isn't making it any easier. I should be studying now, but I've really no mood to do so. Let's hope that I'll still do ok anyway. The story is finally over. I'm thinking of putting in a little bit more, maybe an epilogue of some kind, but that would depend on YOU. Mostly because I don't know whether you guys have had enough of La Ballata della Luna or not. We'll see.

To my WONDERFUL, SWEET, ENCOURAGING and most definitely **PATIENT** reviewers:

Wallpaper: Yeah, it's weird. I reread my stuff and I get confused too! Hehe, is the magic part coming out? Well, this _is_ the last chappie, so if you don't understand what's going on, I've really done a terrible job. I think at the end of the review replies, I'll explain what really happened, I'm sure there're many of you out there who don't know what's going on. I hate how the idea germinates in my mind and it never gets expressed properly. Ah well, thank you so much for your words nonetheless. It's my manna.

Iryl: Thanks for the encouragement, see what happened? I finally wrote something! This should make a little more sense, if not, scroll down to the explanation below!!!

Masutsa: -eyes bulges out- you understand??? Wow, maybe I should find some award to give you for that. –pats Masutsa on the shoulder- You are the reason I write! –eyes shining- I want to cry...

MaryDFair: Hehe, welllllll... I think you can return to the previous chappie and press that little button, here's the answer to your queries!!! God, I miss writing so much, if only I could quit school and do this full time. Now... I just need to find a rich man... -sigh-

Tsuki-san!!!!: OH my GOD!!! How much I've missed you. I'm so sorry I've missed all your stories, it's been such a hectic life for me, what a rollercoaster it's been! Please write and tell me how you've been, how's your health, your writing, everything. There's too much silence, and though I know it's my fault, I wish I could rectify it. Love you!!

The Sinner: Has the confusion been washed away? I certainly hope so. Otherwise my ego as an author would be thoroughly crushed. I tried my best to leave the word 'reincarnation' out for the sake of ... religious reasons? It's partly to be politically correct because I know some people (well, a great deal of people actually) don't quite believe in it, but then again, this IS an AU, so I'm forgiven ne?

MZ. Amber Eyes: Yes, Kaoru does finally know that Kenshin loves her. In the end at least. It's hard not to when a guy does stuff for you that he would not do for other people. Ie the chocolate in one of the chappies! But she's confused then because of her growing misplaced love for Enishi. Nevertheless, thanks for everything, GOD I LOVE YOU!

Wistful-eyes: Hey, when are you updating your stories???? Heh, now I can say that since I finally updated mine! –grinz- And yes, you're definitely getting it right. Smart, here's a cookie. Seriously though, thank you so much for everything you've done. Your continued support and encouraging words always pulls me through my writer's block and helps me tide the hard and dry times. Thank you over and over again.

Rain angst: well, your wait is finally over. Please tell me what you think about it and whether the confusion was rectified. Thank you for your comments!

Scarlet Rayne: Well, the thing was, you're actually supposed to be confused. That's mirroring poor Kenshin's confusion as well. But I'm thoroughly sorry because I know how frustrating it can be. Especially when you're trying to understand what's going on! Hopefully this chapter makes up for it. Thanks for your kind words!

Mystal!: God I miss you! How do you find this chapter? I value your words, so keep them coming! Does it make sense? Does it tie in or does it sound abrupt? I'm a little afraid that it came out somewhat not quite what I had in mind, but it's been almost a year, so my frame of mind has changed so radically I fear that chapter 1 and this chapter has varied so drastically. Tell me!!

Jen: Tomoe is here because... well, by now you should know right? And I you don't, you'll never know. Kidding, hang around for the explanation. It goes all the way from the first chapter to now. Hope you like it. Thanks for everything!

**The story**:

The story starts with Enishi and how he stands at the street waiting for Kaoru, Tomoe's reincarnate. He was a singer before who devoted his life and heart to Tomoe and before she (Tomoe) died, he promised that he would wait for her, which was what he did. Enticing Kaoru with his music and his understanding of her pain, he draws her in. Kaoru keeps returning to Enishi despite her obvious deep emotions for Kenshin not realizing that it was out of loneliness and Tomoe's residual love for Enishi that binds her to him. Mistaking love for all of that, Kaoru is torn between the two men. I was hoping to make the house somewhat significant, but it may have to be explained in the next chapter, if I _do_ write one, that is.

Anyway, Enishi asks Kaoru to join him where he induces her to get into an accident. (The nature of the accident itself doesn't matter, it's the actual _happening _of it that does. If you'd like to know, I could write it in a separate spin-off, we'll see.) In her coma, it is then that Kaoru's dominant persona is shut into a corner and Tomoe within her is released. However, Enishi did not count on Tomoe being released into the real world rather than the world that he was in. The thing was, Enishi was given a specific amount of time to linger in the world, hence his desperation for Kaoru to meet him by that time, and his trying to gain sympathy by showing her his drug abusing side. (Didn't realize that eh.)

Now, Tomoe was in the living world with Kenshin where she originally looked like Kaoru because of Kaoru's personality slowly shutting off into Tomoe. Imagine it like one of those morphing pictures except it takes days for it to happen. In this world, Tomoe, like Kaoru earlier on, has memories of things that she isn't sure of, along with that is some sort of deep seeded affection for Kenshin (obviously that came from Kaoru) and so she wants to be there for Kenshin as well.

Finally, this chapter speaks of the three meeting in the abyss where the dead souls (and a shut off Kaoru) come together, Tomoe is finally released to the nether world and Kenshin and Kaoru are reunited.

Final note: A great big thanks to everyone who contributed to this fic in one way or another. Thank you so much for the amount of time you've invested in this fic be it through reading or reviewing or giving me more points of view. This really expanded my horizons, improving the story one way or another. I do hope that I would have the time to continue writing, but regardless, the experience has been made all the more wonderful by you. Hope to see you on another KK journey! (P/S: I distinctly remember telling someone I might write this story with an EK ending, anyone interested?)

Haruko


	10. Epilogue: Requiem Lovers of Lost Dimens...

Requiem: Lovers of the Lost Dimension

"Would you like an ice cream, Kaoru chan?"

Kenshin turned his head slightly towards her though his gaze rested on the ice cream vendor in front of them. Kaoru knew he was dying to hop across the street and get himself a cone since the hot and humid weather was a perfect incentive for one. So, pursing her lips, she pretended to think deeply.

"Well…"

"Kaoru!" He mock admonished her, knowing that she was teasing him.

"Go on ahead, I know you can't resist the allure of the _Ojisan _in favor of your girlfriend here, abandon me, why don't you?"

"You little imp!"

Seeing that Kaoru was grinning as she said that, Kenshin sprinted across the road, his eyes fixed on the vendor.

* * *

'_All I could see…'_

Kaoru shook her head as those thoughts rose to her mind, unbidden and unwelcome. They were just too close to the surface for comfort.

'…_right across the street…'_

"No, no." She murmured, pleading for the memories to remain where she left them, buried.

'…_was you…'_

Clutching her left arm tightly in her right hand, Kaoru fingered the jagged and uneven skin. Though the bandages have been off for more than a year, Kaoru still felt them as though they were wet, sticky, bleeding…

But only she could feel it.

These scars were the final reminder of the things she had left behind earlier on, things she wanted to be laid forgotten. Yet there they were, waiting for her to remember and pick them up right where she had left them in more than 467 days ago.

"Kaoru!" Kenshin stuck his hand out at her, waiting for her to take her favorite _vanilla swirl_ from him.

"Oh! Gomen…" She turned to him, bringing her glance away from the road.

'_No one ever sees you but me.'_

Licking the creamy cool substance, she tried to hold down the torrent of images that were beating against her mental walls.

White, eternal white.

Gray, the slight hue that was found in his eyes.

Pale, the shade of his skin, the porcelain skin.

Colors that she tried to forget, colors that were supposed to be only in black and white, colors that reminded her of her weaknesses.

'_I'm not enough. Kaoru was never enough for you.'_

Peeping out of the corner of her eye to her boyfriend, Kaoru wondered how Kenshin would react if he knew her train of thought. It was not so much that she did not love her flame-haired boyfriend, but that there were some things she just could not bring herself to leave behind. Things she always beat herself about. Things she could not erase… like the scar he gave her.

"Why are you staring at me? I'm not giving _my_ ice cream as well!" Kenshin lightly yet possessively proclaimed as he licked at his precious delicacy, staring hard at it, afraid that it would disappear if his eyes left the creamy surface.

"Mou! What do you take me for Ken-_chan_? I'm not a greedy over-eater like you! How do you still manage to play soccer with such a large tummy I would never know!"

"You…!"

Chasing Kaoru around his right hand clamped around his ice cream cone while the left was fisted into a tight grip, Kenshin laughed cheerfully, glad that the pensive gloom that hung over his girlfriend's face was temporarily gone.

Kenshin knew that Kaoru could not leave those days in the white mansion behind. Even as she guffawed gleefully at the puerile games they indulged themselves in like every other normal couple does, she could never forget. He always wanted to find out what happened, the days before that summer vacation, the accident, the long stretch of time she was lost in her coma, Kenshin wanted to know all of them. He wanted to endure the weight of those days with her to remind her that she was never alone andyet he could not.

Every time he broached the question, her right hand would immediately seek her left elbow in search for the scarcely visible wound. It was not that the scar was healing to a faded white, but that Kaoru was always covering it. And Kenshin could not blame her. Neither ugly nor outstanding, Kenshin and Kaoru were the only ones who knew the true agony behind that jagged line.

It was almost as though it represented the distance between them before, a fine stretch which separated the two: Close and yet a little too far away from each other. Still, as he holds her hand every day, the white and angry mark would forever bear the secret he could never quite learn of.

He just wished he could take something to clean it out of their lives. They had to go through so much just to learn that they wished to be together. All too much that it seemed Kamisama was being unusually harsh on them. The bright, vibrant and confident girl he knew from so many years ago had seem to have gone missing. And though she was returning bit by bit back to them, she still managed to remain pensive and self-concious as the days went by.

"Ken-chan?"

"Eh?"

"What do you see when you see me?"

Blue curiosity peered into fathomless amethyst as Kaoru stopped in her jog realizing that Kenshin was suspiciously still as he stared across the street where she herself was lost in thought five minutes ago. Not noticing that his ice-cream was melting a sticky and gooey pool on his hand, Kenshin simply trained his eyes on the road where the white chalk partitioned the oncoming flowing traffic, not quite understanding. But all that went through his mind at that moment was…

"It's here, isn't it?" He murmured more to himself than to the questioning girl next to him.

Pausing for a fraction of a second, his left hand stretched out to point at the middle of the road where the pedestrian crossing was.

The streetlight was blinking a fierce red to warn all pedestrians not to venture forth.

"It's here that you met your accident."

Kaoru cocked her head to one side as she curiously regarded her boyfriend even as the memories flooded her mind.

"_Tomorrow noon. You can decide whether or not to turn up, but I'll be there."_

She could still feel the hardened muscles beneath her head where the rested against his body. His taut physique reminiscent of a lion, stretched out in a seemingly relaxed pose though his prey knew better than to underestimate him.

"_I'll be there for as long as I can."_

Kaoru's hand itched to reach under her sleeve though she knew that Kenshin would react to that. He was already so cautious, afraid to do anything which might cause her to react badly. His questions which came in droves earlier on in their relationship had ebbed into a quiet dribble that he hardly posed any more. Kaoru felt so guilty knowing that he deserved the truth after what he had to endure along with her, but it just became harder and harder to open her mouth.

Each time, all she could see was the morose eyes of Enishi as his fingers glided across the ivory keys and recall his last song as he strummed the guitar his fingers moving from one frat to another effortlessly. He had told her, he had said…

"_Your last chance to escape this all, will you take it?"_

She wanted to. God, had she wanted to run across the street and grab onto his hand.

Enishi represented all the security she craved in this world. He was the icon of what she wanted but could not have. And looking to the boy at her left, his left hand hanging limply on his side as his forgotten ice-cream continued crying its impending doom… he loved her. He loved her.

So why can't that be enough for her to open her mouth and mind to him?

"What did you see that day?"

He questioned softly, afraid to frighten her or cause a panic attack like it did before. They have left months ago, the panic attacks, Kaoru had learnt to deal with and finally conquer them, though she knew that the topic would have to remain taboo for a while longer.

"I…"

She wanted to say. Dammit, she was so willing to pour it all out to him. Of how Enishi had requested to meet her one last time. How he promised her with such devotion and sincerity that he would always be with her if only she would allow him to. How those eyes that revealed all and nothing at the same time shone with such intensity that for a moment she could see the stark emotions he harbored, bringing a shiver of fear and anticipation down her spine.

Kaoru would reveal, too, of how she had debated with herself over and over again, choosing the boy she loved for her whole life or give into the new man who entered her world and brought it to its knees. And most of all, she wanted to tell him how she made it to this corner, them both at the two ends of the pedestrian crossing, separated by the black and white lines that crossed yet never touching.

"… I came here to find him."

Kenshin deserved so much more than what she could say, but still she wanted to try. Kaoru knew that he could never understand what it was that transpired between Enishi and her, but Kenshin wanted to know and that was the least she could do.

So even as she did not wish to relive the disheartening past, she still tugged at his shirt sleeve bringing him closer to the crossing as she stood in the same position as before.

"I was here."

The fair-skinned beauty could see him. The pale skin, hair all white, fingers strumming the fragile guitar in his arms like a lost lover. And that was the only thing he has been searching for. How could she have missed it.

Enishi was singing to her while the people walked on, not noticing the maestro that performed amongst them. Fools. They could not understand a genius or his work of great beauty. That was what Enishi was saving her from, that was what she was saving herself from.

"_If we run far enough, we could leave them all behind."_

'No, you're wrong. They'd always be a step behind. They'd always be there Enishi. What we should do is to learn to live with them, to learn to live in this imperfect world full of imperfections, forever searching for that one perfect moment.'

Strange how her feelings changed so much since that day. With Kenshin now by her side, Kaoru realized that she could learn to look back at that day and at the person she had been before.

'We were so weak then.'

Humming under her breath, Kaoru smiled up at Kenshin. He recognized the song as the one Tomoe had been singing in the room the first time they met. Not knowing what it was, he simply mirrored her thoughts as she pulled his right hand towards her.

Dumbly observing Kaoru taking the ice-cream out of his hand as she threw it away and wiped his palm clean with a wet tissue, Kenshin only realized how gentle Kaoru could be at times. How was it that he never saw it before?

"What song is that?"

She shrugged.

"Enishi sang it before and once again that day. He wouldn't even tell me the title. Mou!" Kaoru pouted hoping to lighten the atmosphere but all Kenshin did was to tighten his grip on her and asked.

"What happened?"

Her soothing ministrations ceased as she stared across the street once more.

"He tried to kill me."

* * *

Kenshin stared at his raven-haired childhood friend standing in front of him. He could not believe how casually she revealed the information. How could she speak it as though commenting on a test grade or a piece of trash on the pavement! 

Finally, his eyes drifted down to her hands, the ones that were shaking and clutching onto each other as though they would not survive without the tension and strength… and then he knew.

"You… you couldn't see him, Kenshin. No one could, only me."

Her eyes wandered to the spot that lay scarcely a block from them. Kaoru knew that place. As much as she knew Enishi's music and the pain he endured to create it. This was where her life truly began and ended.

"This was where I met Enishi for the first and last time."

Kenshin nodded. He knew it too. He was here when the horrifying sight of Kaoru crossing the street on a flashing red light greeted him. He was here with Sano when she stopped in the middle of the pedestrian crossing, transfixed by an unknown sight in front of her, a sight neither of them could witness. He too was here when he screamed her name, begging her to run before the swerving truck reached her and claimed her life.

She had turned slightly to him, but it was too late.

Kaoru cocked her head to one side as she pulled him across the black and white lines easily bringing them to the other side of the street.

"I really wanted to go with him. I did. All I could see then was Enishi. He sat there waiting for me to go to him..." She confessed lightly as though her impending death was inconsequential. "But then, you called my name."

Kenshin's free hand fisted at his side as he relived how close to death his love was before.

"It's strange how close this place was to the mansion. I never noticed it until now, but you can practically see the white washed windows from here."

Kenshin turned his head, surprised to see that she was right. There, barely hidden by the pine trees, was the cemented and painted window frame peeking through the thick leaves.

Smiling softly at her boyfriend, Kaoru tugged at his hand and gently asked.

"Shall we?"

* * *

The dilapidated building that rose before her was something that Kaoru had not expected. Always kept in the best of conditions, the young woman was surprised to see the rusted iron fence, boarded gate and worse of all, the overgrown weeds. Enishi had prided himself in cleanliness and neatness that seeing the house turn into such a wreck brought a spasm of pain through Kaoru's heart. 

"Wha-?" Despairing eyes bore into Kenshin's. "What happened to this place? It… it was so beautiful the last time I was here…"

Kenshin shook his head, partly in ignorance but mostly in disbelief.

"Kaoru-chan, the mansion has always been like this. Ever since I'd seen the address on the piece of paper in your pocket to the last time I returned here and met with Tomoe, the house had always been this way."

Confusion clouded Kaoru's thoughts as memories of the beauty that this place had been flashed through her mind. The brightly-colored tulips, the neatly trimmed grass, the freshly painted walls… what had happened to them?

Then it struck her.

"It's all in my mind. It's always been in my mind, isn't it?" Kaoru whispered, afraid that to speak any louder would mean that it was true.

"Kaoru…"

Kenshin could not finish his sentence though, because just then, a piano sounded. Even before the next few chords could be played, Kaoru ran towards the tarnished fence and snuck through the hole, finding her way into the mansion.

"Here we go again." The red-haired man sighed despite knowing that this was important, just that he had thought he could finally leave this place behind and here, the memories were being dredged up again. "Let's just hope that this would be the last time."

The wooded door creaked opened as the notes wafted their way to the couple. Holding her boyfriend's hand loosely in her grasp, the pale beauty wove her way to the piano room expertly. This was the route she took then, the path nearest and fastest to Enishi in the days when she had imagined her own importance to him, not what lay before.

Just as they were nearing, a guitar sounded. The chords so familiar, the tune so close to her heart, Kaoru raced straight to the spartan room determined to find the answers to her painful question.

'_Sorry Kenshin. I didn't mean to let go of your hand… but I really need to know…'_

The door crashed open as Kaoru sprinted into the room.

"Enishi!"

She huffed from the exertion she placed on her body, yet she could not help the quickening pace of her heartbeat. Could this be…?

What faced her though, was something else completely unexpected.

There seemed to be at least twenty people in the room, lights flashing as an assortment of equipment filled the previously spartan space. And right there, in the centre of the room was the antiquated grand piano. However, seated on the bench was not the white-haired musician that Kaoru knew so dearly. Instead, it was a man dressed in clothes of the Victorian era; hair dyed a golden shade and eyes a piercing forest green, more from coloured contacts than genetics. Though he was most definitely a man of the arts, she was certain that he was no Enishi.

"I'm sorry Ma'am, but you're not supposed to be here."

A middle-aged man sitting behind the camera, the director probably, spoke up, instantly breaking the uncomfortable and stunned silence that fell upon the room.

"I.. what…" "What's going on here?"

Kenshin interjected knowing immediately what it was that Kaoru wished to know. He too was most shocked when faced with this scene.

"A music video, what does it look like?"

A womaninterjectedfrom behind the lights. Her tone annoyed and displeased. They were already behind schedule as it is, this distraction was not needed at the moment!

"Ah… but that song, it belonged to someone I know -knew…" Kaoru sputtered in her embarrassed and perplexed state. Though she did not know the title, it was a melody she would never forget.

"Quite right. We're doing a cover of one of the older songs. However, we're running late.. do you _mind_?"

Kaoru wrung her fingers knowing that she should leave but still…

"It should be alright if they stayed…" The pianist spoke up from behind the keyboard for the first time.

They all chuckled this time as she nodded her head so violently it seemed it might break from her abrupt movements.

"Yes, Yes! I promise I won't get in your way. I'll just sit here, I won't even talk or move if you don't want me to!"

The words she had spoken not so long ago.

'_You won't mind, would you? You won't mind my staying here, right Enishi… even if it's not me you wanted.'_

Kenshin moved from behind her to her side as he slid his hand perfectly into hers.

The piano sounded once more, and everything else lost its meaning.

_yuugure ni kimi to mita orenji no taiyou  
nakisou na kao o shite eien no sayonara_

_**In the evening, I saw with you the orange sun  
You looked like you were going to cry eternal goodbye**_

The strains of the last words drifted into the wind. Quiet and respectful silence greeted the finale as the moment seemed to stretch into eternity with its evocative probing.

This was the magic and mircale of Enishi's music – the birth and death of beauty in its painful decay and starkness, forever searching, forever unafraid of the future.

Shouts of relief and triumph echoed throughout the room as the workers bustled along to clear up and leave for their hard earned rest.

"How was it?" The pianist came up to the couple who barged in earlier on. He was curious and taken aback that anyone would be anywhere in the vicinity of the building, considering how the road was deserted most of the time.

Witnessing the tears streaming down from the young woman's cheek, he was even more startled.

"Beautiful." She choked.

"Thank you so much for letting us stay behind." The man standing next to her gently grasping her hand spoke up on her behalf. "This means a lot to us."

"Oh? Did you know the musician?" He knew that the composer had died a while back and naturally assumed no one else would be informed of his identity.

"Ahh, Enishi was a talented musician, that he was. This song in particular is special to us." The young man offered a vague explanation, yet it was one that threw the young singer into a greater loop.

"How could you… this song was never released before. The company had found it in Enishi-sama's possessions recently." Stunned, the blonde stared at the weeping woman. "Could you be… Kaoru?"

Shock stopped the tears as Kaoru jerked her eyes up to the greenish orbs of the singer.

Hastily he trooped them over to the piano as he reached for the music score he was playing from. Shoving it in their trembling hands, he continued.

"We picked this house for the shooting since it was Enishi-sama's abode before his death _and_ it was also here that we discovered the lost manuscript. It too was the place where he spent most time with Tomoe-san and wrote his music… but how would you know Enishi-sama? You would have to be very young for him to have met you…"

But Kaoru could not hear his barrage of questions and comments for she could feel her scar throbbing as Kenshin's hand squeezed her own in silent encouragement.

There written on the top of the page, right next to the song's title, was the one sentence that caused Kaoru to break into a sob: **_For Kaoru, thank you for staying by my side when no one else would.Be happy._**

"Orenji no Taiyou… that's what it was called…" Kaoru breathed while Kenshin hastily returned the papers as she turned to bury her face in his shirt.

"He saw me. He saw _me_…"

No answer was needed as Kenshin comforted the treasure in his embrace. Now it seemed Kaoru was ready to put the past behind her. Maybe it was a miracle, maybe it was the ultimate gift, but Enishi's music had finally bridged the rift between them and healed the scar that Kenshin was afraid would haunt her forever.

* * *

The walk home was filled with tenderness and deep affection which made Kenshin feel as though he could burst from all the happiness. 

"You're happy?"

Kaoru laughed.

"Yes," she replied softly. "This… I had thought that the entire time I was with Enishi, I was simply a _replacement_. Seeing the music score, knowing that the song was entirely for me… it gave me confidence. It told me that for a second, Enishi had seen me, _me_as I was. As Kaoru, not Tomoe. Simply Kaoru."

Kenshin pulled her to him as he softly kissed her, finally understanding her strange question earlier on.

'_What do you see when you see me?'_

"Ah, I see. But know this too," he lightly brushed her bangs behind her ear as his forehead gently touched hers, "to me, you're always Kaoru. Only Kaoru."

She smiled, breathing in the same air that he did, loving the same way that he loved.

"I love you too, Kenshin."

Fin

* * *

A/N: This is one of the hardest chapters to write, definitely. It had a lot of foreshadowing, a great deal of nuances that I had to think about a great deal before laying it out for you guys. Very much disheartened with this story and thinking that I'm much better off leaving it as it were, I just went to watch the movie, Last Quarter, of which is based on the manga which inspired this fic. Confusing? One of my favourite Japanese singers acted the part of Adam, who was Enishi, and his name is Hyde. Recognize him? 

Regardless, I was unhappy with the movie and the ending, although it was most definitely an interesting portrayal. Nevertheless, I hope that I managed to convey the doubts and issues which plagued the couple long after Enishi had returned with Tomoe. Kaoru was most definitely affected, and in some way I wanted Kenshin to fight harder for the relationship, feeling a little put off (on Kaoru's behalf) that she was the only one who kept holding onto their love. Please let me know if I was successful.

**Mystal** made a really good suggestion of Enishi's point of view to reveal more of the accident, but I couldn't quite do that yet because I need to work out the kinks of the life after death or 'where-the-hell-is-Enishi?' part. So once I can come out with that, you might see a spin off!

A little shout out to my readers and reviewers: **Daffybear **(don't worry about not getting the drug-abuse bit, I did a really poor job of it. I wanted to add it in here, but it seemed to be rather awkward too, so I left it at that.)**, Thai **(Thank you so much for your support. Your kind words really helped me along in this chapter!)**, Triste1 **(You got it right, both women were the same! Yea! Haha, hope you'll like this last chapter too!)**, Iryl **(Haha, here's some KK fluff though I must say that it's not as fluffy as my other fics. Tried my best though!)**, Scarlet Ravyne **(Here's the Epilogue you wanted. A little late.. heh, but still something you can read right? I'm definitely thinking of an EK ending. Still in the works though)**, MaryDFair **(See? I did write more. You just have to wait for it. That's me. Only when inspiration hits can I sit down. Hope you enjoy this one too!)**, Donna8157 **(yo girl, when are you gonna finish your Possession? I'm still waiting for it!), **Jen **(thank you so much for your support. I love EK too, that's why I wanted this story because there're bits of both in it. Although having Enishi leave kinda put me in a funk. Hmm, maybe he'll return in a sequel? Maybe…)**, mystal **(haha, Kenshin with musical talents! To be honest, I sat and read my story again and was literally like this: O,o;; thinking to myself 'waaaat, I made Kenshin _sing?' _haha, couldn't believe it myself. Ah well. Must be my muse!)**, Wistful-Eyes **(I need to do something about not needing a guide. Everytime I write I seem to need one, so it means that I'm not doing a good job! Haha, so here's the last bit for you, hope you like and let me know!)**, Wallpaper **(You love me? Really? Haha, that's great, cos I love _you_ too! )**, bionne **(Thank you for the thought. RKRC? Man, it's an honour. Haha, I'm actually wondering what happened to it too considering one of my poems was lost in the pile of stuff there. Let me know when you find out!)

Lastly, here completely ends this tale, something which makes me feel somewhat sad considering how well received it is by everyone. A sequel or mirror tale (something of a different ending) might be in the works, but we'll have to see about that. So bye for now, and thank you for your support!

Love

Haruko


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